I used to think that rejection meant things were going wrong…

Like a kind of failure.

But I’ve come to realise this couldn’t be further from the truth.

I write a lot about failure in my book…

And today I want to look at one specific type:

When someone says “no”.

It could be at work, in business, or more generally in life.

Like asking someone if they need some help….

And they say no.

Or asking for feedback …

And hearing no.

Or asking for a pay rise, a promotion or flexible hours…

And you’re told no.

How does hearing no make you feel?

I never liked it.

It threw me off course.

Sometimes I thought I’d misjudged a situation…

And other times I felt my ego take a hit.

But now I try to think about noes in a different way…

And I’ve come to enjoy them more.

Why’s that?

Well, I can think of three reasons.

The first is that a no means I’m in action mode.

You don’t get a no unless you’re making a request or going after something.

And that’s so important…

Because unless you take action, your intentions and your goals are fairly meaningless.

You can have the best intentions in the world…

Or the loftiest dreams and goals…

But without action, you’ll never hit them.

Make sense?

The second is that you get feedback.

Sometimes this feedback will be direct…

And other times you might have to do a little digging or thinking yourself.

But it doesn’t really matter….

Because when you hear no, there’s always something you can learn.

A no allows you to hone your approach for next time.

The third reason is you’re one step closer to a yes.

Now, there will be times when no means no.

But a lot of the time, no means “not yet”.

So as long as you take feedback on board and modify your approach…

You’re usually closer to a yes.

And if you think about noes as “one step closer to a yes”…

A no can actually be something to celebrate.

So it’s worth asking…

How many times have you been told “no” in the last 24 hours?

That’s it for today.

Hope this was helpful.

Enjoy your Monday.

- Tom