This is a big part of why corporate life wasn’t for me…
Even though it might seem like a tiny thing.
You probably know the score.
Bumping into people in the office. Like in the lift, on the stairs or in reception.
These conversations were always similar.
One person would ask “how’s work?” Or “how’s it going?”
And the response would always be “Busy”.
It was an unwritten rule.
You never said how busy you actually were.
You never said things were calm. Or that you had a great work/life balance.
You just said you were busy. Sometimes “really busy”. Or even “slammed”.
And the other person would nod sagely.
“Me too”.
Make no mistake…
Most of the time things were busy.
But even if you weren’t, you still said you were. That was my experience.
And I think there were a few reasons why.
It protected against too much scrutiny. Because if you’re not busy, you’ll
soon get given some more work to do.
It was a bonding mechanism. A way of connecting with colleagues. Something you had in common (or pretended to have in common).
It was a bit of a badge of honour too. Almost as if the busier you are, the more valuable to the organisation you must be.
And lastly, being swamped felt admirable in some way. Like being busy at work was a cause for celebration.
Now, I didn’t quit my job because everyone was saying how busy they
were.
That would be a bit extreme.
But I did quit my job because I felt like I was
losing touch with myself.
That might sound a bit woo-woo…
So let me
explain.
I found working for a big organisation instilled a certain way of acting, thinking and being.
Being “busy” was an example of this. But it illustrates the point well.
I spent 8+ hours a day falling into line and saying things I felt I should be saying.
Even at the watercooler or the printer, I felt compelled to act and speak a certain way.
At the start of my career this didn’t matter.
But over time it started to matter more and more.
And after thirteen years the phony-baloney was enough. It was certainly a factor in my decision to quit.
So what does all this mean for you?
Well, maybe this division between who you are at work and outside work doesn’t bother you.
Maybe it’s something
you’ve never thought about.
Or maybe for you there’s no division at all.
Either
way, perhaps it’s something to mull over.
And if it does bother you, here’s a tip:
Try testing if it’s possible to not say what you think you need to say when you’re in the office.
You don’t have to go overboard with this. You could try it very gently at first.
Check in with yourself after. Do you feel more connected to people? More open or free?
And what sort
of feedback did you get?
That’s it for today.
Catch you tomorrow.
- Tom
p.s. Whenever you're
ready, here are the ways you can
connect with me