I read a book the other day called "100 truths you'll learn too late".

It's a great book.  Worth a look.

Truth 66 had a paragraph headed “Working a job that destroys your soul”. 

This caught my eye. 

After all, soul-sucking jobs are my area of expertise.

The author says “there are many reasons people end up in a job they don’t like, but there is a single reason they do not quit: they become dependent on it. Perhaps they rely on the salary. Perhaps they depend on the prestige and status it provides.  Or perhaps they depend on the adrenaline they get from working at it”.

Interesting take. 

Was that the case for me?

Salary – yep.

Status – yep.

Adrenaline – yep.

Three out of three.  

So what’s the solution?

Back to the book:

“The solution is simple but hard:  find out what you are dependent on and either lower your need for it or find other options that can deliver a similar payoff”.

Looks like I’ve gone down the “lower my need” route here.

No more Reiss cardigans and tasting menus for me. 

Over time, I’m hoping I can rev these back up again.  

But I’ve lowered my need for expensive things.  H&M and Wagamama's will do me just fine.

Similarly, I’m no longer a “banking director”. 

I thought there was status attached to being a director. That it was impressive in some way. 

I think in some circles it is seen as impressive. 

But I realised I don’t really care. 

I don’t need a certain status or labels any more.  I just want to be me.  So I’ve lowered my need here too.

And I’ve also lowered my need to be busy and overwhelmed.

I was staying busy as a way to avoid confronting some tough career decisions.

And I also thought being busy meant I was important. 

It doesn’t.  It meant I’d lost sight of what was really important.  Like my health and wellbeing.

Three shifts which took me a few minutes to write in an email but which took me years to work through.

Simple, but hard.

So if you’re working a job that you hate, see if you can find your dependencies.

Might be simple, but might not be easy.

So if you’d like a hand then let me know.

The link is below.

That’s it for today. 

- Tom 

p.s. Whenever you're ready, here are the ways you can connect with me