“Cynthia wants me to quit. And open a B&B in Vermont. She says this job is making me unhappy”.

This is Steve Carell’s first scene in The Big Short.

One of his colleagues pipes up:   “But you’re happy when you’re unhappy”.

Steve Carell agrees. “I am happy when I’m unhappy”.

Took me a while to get my head around this.  But I think I’ve cracked it.

Of course, being unhappy can’t make someone happy.

It’s like saying “I’m bored when I’m not bored”.  Or even “I’m hungry when I’m not hungry”.

It makes no sense.

I think what Steve’s saying is he’s got used to being unhappy.  It’s normal for him now.  And “normal” makes him happy.

That makes a lot more sense. Because familiarity leads to comfort, even in a crap situation.

I found this myself. 

I didn’t enjoy my job, but I knew what I was letting myself in for each day.  The monotony was reliably consistent.

So perhaps Steve should’ve said “I’m comfortable with being unhappy”.

That line wouldn’t survive the script re-write.

But it got me thinking.

“Comfortable” reminds me of sitting on the sofa with my slippers on, sipping a hot chocolate.

Whereas “happy” means loving who I am and loving what I do.

Different strokes for different folks, but I’d rather be happy than comfortable.

So here’s the problem…

Making a change to become happier (like switching careers) also means becoming more uncomfortable.

Why?

Because you’re moving away from something familiar.  And moving towards uncertainty, fear and doubt.

And there’s no getting away from it.  Making a big decision will always involve discomfort.

This is why changing direction can be so tough.  Even if it’s for a greater good.  Even if it will make you happy.

So what’s the answer?

If you want to make a change, you have to welcome discomfort. 

And being comfortable with being uncomfortable is the only way to meet discomfort.

Hold on a second! I can hear the cynics cry. 

You just told us it’s impossible to be happy with being unhappy.  Now you’re telling us to get comfortable with being uncomfortable!

Great spot Sherlock. You’re dead right.

So let me rephrase.

Be open to possibilities. Be willing to question your beliefs and ideas.  Take calculated risks.  Try new things.  Challenge yourself.  And don’t be afraid to be different.

If you want to make a big change, this is how you’ll become comfortable being uncomfortable.

And if you’d like some help with this, just hit reply.

Time to wrap up.

Hope you got something out of this.

- Tom 

p.s. Whenever you're ready, here are the ways you can connect with me