What do you want to be when you grow up?
It’s a common question for kids.
And whenever I was asked, I said I wanted to be a magician. Or a chess player.
But herein lies a problem.
We translate the question “What do you
want to be when you grow up?” to mean “What are you hoping to do for a living when you grow up?”
Which leads me to ponder...
Why is work - or a job
- the default answer to this question?
It bugs me.
I don’t think we should be sending kids the message that work is the primary meaning of adulthood.
Because if we take this one level deeper, it starts to fix the idea that who you are equals what job you do.
And that you are a certain thing or you are a certain way. And that thing or way is set in stone.
I recently read about a coach recalling a chat he’d had with a client.
The coach says:
During a conversation about nutrition she said “I’m a cake person”.
He goes on to say:
Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. Up until that very moment I didn’t know I could be a cake person. I thought it was all about choices in the moment. But being a cake person means it becomes a choiceless process. If I’m a cake person, the choice to eat cake is not mine. Seamless limitation! Organic captivity!
Of course, what the coach is getting at is that we do have a choice in the moment.
So when we define ourselves as a cake person, or define our identities via our jobs, or think of ourselves in any other set way, we’re ignoring a fundamental truth.
The truth that in any moment we can be whatever and whoever we want to be. And we can create whatever we want to create.
Unless, that is, we’ve chosen who we want to be
when we’re a kid. And we’ve stuck to it ever since.
So instead of “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, we should be asking our children “What do you want to do when you grow up?”.
Or even “Who do you want to be when you grow up?”.
That’s my two pennies’ worth.
That’s all for today.
- Tom
p.s. Whenever you're ready, here are the ways I can support you