Some wacky yet thought-provoking titbits from Robert Cialdini’s book PreSuasion:

(all about getting people to do what you want them to do)

Want someone to feel warmly towards you?   Hand them a hot drink.

Want someone to be more helpful?  Show them a photo of people standing close together.

Want someone to choose the French bottle of wine rather than the Italian bottle?  Make sure there’s French music playing in the background.

You could say it thus:

To nudge people in the right direction, start by planting the right seeds.

Sneaky huh?

I’m sure these ideas work.  But handing out hot mugs of coffee and asking Alexa to play Frère Jacques isn’t always practical is it, dear reader?

It maybe even feels – how shall I say it? – rather manipulative.

But what if there was a way to use this idea of planting seeds without any diabolical trickery?

And what if there was a way to use this idea not just to encourage people to order certain bottles of wine, but to have deeper and more fulfilling relationships with people?   Even with ourselves?

Well, I think there is.

This idea of planting seeds can be applied to relationships in the most simple, sincere and genuine way possible.

Here’s how:

If you a plant a seed and water it, that seed will grow.

And if you keep watering it, it will keep growing.

The only “trick” – if there is one – is planting the right seed. 

However many apple seeds you plant, you’ll never get a cherry tree.  Plant cherry seeds, though, and you will. 

And that’s it.  That’s the nub.

So what does this mean in practical terms?

Well, it all comes down to the way we act.  Our actions are the seeds.

But it’s not the actions themselves.  It’s not about handing out mugs of coffee.

Instead, it’s the place our actions come from.

Take a relationship with a colleague, friend or partner.

If our actions come from a place of frustration, envy or anger, then frustration, envy and anger in that relationship will grow. 

But if we plant seeds of support, kindness or respect – and embody these in the way we approach our relationships – support, kindness and respect will grow instead.

The relationship we have with ourselves works the same way.

For instance, planting “I can’t do this” seeds - and acting from this place - is unlikely to lead to success. 

But if we plant seeds of possibility and come from this place of possibility instead, success becomes more likely.

To sum it all up:

The way we act, behave and move through the world grows and grows just like seeds.

And it’s worth keeping this in mind.

Because one day, these seeds become the fruit.

That’s it for today.

 - Tom