A story from the history books…

(The 1970’s, to be precise)

A Scottish welder named Sydney Banks was attending a couples counselling weekend with his wife.

It was the sort of weekend where couples were encouraged to vent, scream, shout and generally let rip at their partners in an attempt to get everything off their chest, create a clean slate and heal a relationship which is showing signs of stress or distress.

Sounds like a pretty unpleasant way to spend a weekend if you ask me.

And Syd Banks agreed.  Because as the slanging matches continued, Syd decided to go for a walk.  And he was joined by a therapist who was also taking part in the weekend and feeling equally underwhelmed.

As they ambled along, Syd started to describe his own insecurities to the therapist.

And as they kept chatting, the therapist stopped walking, turned to Syd, and said this:

“You’re not really insecure, Syd.  You just think you are” 

And this struck Syd.

In a big way.

In Syd’s own words:

What I heard was: there’s no such thing as insecurity.  It’s only Thought. 

All my insecurity was only in my own thoughts! 

It was like a bomb going off in my head … It was so enlightening! It was unbelievable…

And this little story leads to an intriguing idea…

What if we don’t actually have some of the problems we think we have?  And what if, instead, we just think we do?  What if our problems are really all in our thinking?

What Syd Banks glimpsed in that moment was an insight into the nature of thought.

Thought is one of the greatest gifts we have.  But, I’ll venture, it’s also one of the most misunderstood.

See, thought is involuntary. It comes and goes, and there’s not much we can do about that.

Thought is also neutral. 

Yet it’s clear that some thoughts appear bland or generic whereas others appear important, heavy and worrisome.

But why?  If all thought is made of the same stuff, why do some thoughts hold us so much more tightly than others?

Well, when we start to pay attention to certain thoughts, and start to dwell on these thoughts, over-analyse thoughts, wallow in thoughts or view thoughts as truths, we start to take a neutral, calm and inoffensive thought and turn it into a monster.

We start to add meaning to something which is inherently meaningless. 

And then we start to believe the meaning we’ve created.  So we act on it.  Or worry about it.  Or start to feel a certain way about it.

Even though these meanings are something we’ve created ourselves.

This is all innocent, of course.  No-one does it on purpose.

But it is us that does it.

As Syd realised, it’s the thoughts themselves where the weight and the worry reside.

Syd Banks soon quit his job as a welder, and travelled the world lecturing, teaching and helping people from all corners of society.

And I think his ideas about thought are not just intriguing or useful, but fundamental gamechangers for anyone who wants to stop their overthinking or quieten their mind.

It’s an area I’m learning more about myself and I’ll be exploring in some of my emails.

So if this intrigues you, stay tuned.

You’re in the right place.

That’s all for today.

 - Tom