Note:  I’ve co-written today’s email with Charlie Rogers.  

Charlie is a writer, endurance athlete, operations lead, consultant, speaker & community builder who, as someone with many interests, documents everything he’s learning about the future of careers in his weekly newsletter Mastery In Your 20s

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I was looking up the etymology of the word “fulfil” with Charlie.

(if you hadn’t clocked it, following fulfilment is the name of the game round these parts)

We were hoping for a fascinating insight about how the word “fulfil” was passed down from the Greeks or Romans, and had some wonderfully deep meaning based on an ancient ritual or mythological ceremony that would reveal the secrets to living an utterly fulfilled life.

But it turns out it’s not quite as exciting as all that.

The “ful” part of fulfil simply means “characterised by”.

And the “fil” part means complete.

So if something – or someone – is fulfilled, they’re characterised by being complete.

Not very profound, is it?

But it got us wondering…

What does this mean practically?  How would we know if we’re characterised by being complete?

It might be easier to notice the opposite.

For instance:

If you’re always looking for the next thing or you’re always trying to fix things, you cannot be complete. 

So, by definition, you cannot be fulfilled.

This reminded Tom of the Inbox Zero Brigade. That merry band of men and women whose aim is to reach an empty inbox, and who grin smugly and high five each other when they’ve deleted, filed or responded to their final email.

They’ve arrived at their ultimate destination:  Inbox Zero!

Until thirty seconds later another email lands in their inbox and they’re clicking away again on a never-ending digital merry-go-round.  

What the Inbox Zero Brigade miss is that the whole point of an inbox is to receive emails. 

So they’re playing a game they'll never complete.

And, in many respects, living a fulfilling life is the same.

Tom remembers waking up on Monday mornings with a sense of dread in the pit of his stomach, hitting the snooze button three times, then dragging himself out of bed and crawling into the shower while grumbling “if only my job was different”.

But he might as well have been signing his application to join the Inbox Zero membership club.

Because that dread comes from the same place.  A place which assumes fulfilment stems from reaching an ultimate destination.

But what Tom's seen over the last two years is that making nonstop changes in the outside world (like finding a new job) is not the way to find fulfilment.

More on this in a moment.

For Charlie, our conversation on fulfilment reminded him of his 24 month journey to cross the red carpet of the Ironman UK finish line in 33rd overall earlier this year.

It was supposed to be the crowning moment after 2 years of training.

He’d overcome the seemingly impossible task of completing a 3.8km swim, 180km bike and 42km run on one of the hardest courses in the world. 

In some ways the day was full of this ecstasy. 

The last 100 metres of the crowd cheering him on while his body starts to cramp and the commentator calls “Charlie Rogers, You are an Ironman” will always be etched into Charlie’s skull as a reminder that he can do anything.

And he’ll forever be changed by that single moment.

But this wasn’t when fulfilment appeared.

In many other ways, it actually came a lot earlier.

In recovering from cycling off a cliff a year before, training 15-20 hours a week for 2 years straight and planning every minute of his race day strategy he’d done 99% of the work, becoming an Ironman in all but name before he’d even started the race.

The last 1% of the day was simply the badge that recognised the achievement of a journey he’d already been on.  And its outcome, whether successful or not, didn’t define his fulfilment.

It was the person he’d already become that did.

And there’s a clue here.

See, fulfilment comes from inside us.  And it radiates out into the world. 

It’s not the other way round.

Fulfilment is not an external destination.  It’s not as if people who land their perfect job, cross an Ironman finishing line, buy their dream house or find their life partner get handed a certificate that says “You are now fulfilled”.

That’s simply not how it works.

Remember our definition?  Fulfilment means characterised by being complete.

So if you’re fulfilled, then you are characterised by being complete.  That completeness and fulfilment is inside you.  

It is you.

It has nothing to do with what’s going on in the outside world.

And can we let you into a secret?

You are already complete.

You may not believe or notice this.  There might be lots of noise which gets in the way of seeing this.  

But that’s okay.  It’s still true.

And that’s not to say you won’t decide to change jobs, run an Ironman, buy a house or settle down with your life partner at some point.

But you won’t need to do these things to become fulfilled.

Instead, fulfilment and completeness is the place where these things will come from.

And once you start glimpsing this is already who you are...

Fulfilment will follow you wherever you decide to go.

 - Tom & Charlie

p.s. Charlie’s newsletter (Mastery In Your 20s) is all about the intersection of the future of work and the future of careers. 

Charlie shares thoughts about how multipotentialites (someone with many interests) can earn through portfolio work while navigating their increasingly squiggly careers

If you’d like to join Charlie’s newsletter, here’s the link:

https://masteryinyour20s.substack.com

(and before anyone asks - you don't need to be in your 20s to join)