All crystal ball stuff of course.

No way to predict what actually would’ve happened.

But based on what was going on at work and in my life, I’ve given it a bash:

Overthinking:  At work I was perpetually stuck in my head, caught in endless thought-loops and continually having imaginary conversations and full-blown make-believe arguments.  

I was slipping out of the real world more and more, and connecting with real people less and less.  

Continuing down this path might’ve led to even more anxiety, stress and mental exhaustion.  

And potentially a complete paralysis of any ability to make a decision or snap myself out of the mess I found myself in.

Health:  For the last couple of years at work I had splitting headaches.  

My sleep was patchy at best, non-existent at worse.  I’d often go back to bed at 1pm on Saturdays to try to catch up from the exhaustion of the week before.  

If I’d kept going this way, none of this would’ve slowed down.  Instead, it probably would’ve got even worse.  

And I don’t even want to think about what this could’ve led to.

Losing touch with myself: I always felt I was being moulded and shaped into a person that was so far removed from the real essence of who I was – and that work took up such a large portion of my life – that I could very well’ve ended up in a place where I’d lost any idea of who “Tom” was, and instead become a corporate clone, programmed to go through the motions with no real say in (let alone idea of) what it is that I wanted from my work and my life. 

This might sound contrived or totally unbelievable, but I see now just how true this was.

Regret:  Impossible to say, but I had a visceral sense that I’d look back on my life at the age of 60 knowing that I hadn’t had the courage to make a tough choice, and that I’d resigned myself to a life where I had the fancy holidays, nice house, “secure and prestigious” job, yet I never felt happy or even fully alive.  

And this would’ve crushed me.  

That sense of “what if” would’ve always been there, pointing fingers at me and reminding me that I only get one shot at life, but I was too timid to follow the path my heart told me was the right one for me.

So this is what could've happened if I hadn't quit my job.

But here’s the thing…

If I knew then what I know now, work would’ve looked completely different to me. 

I have no doubt about that.

See, since quitting my job I’ve gone deep into the world of personal development.  

I’ve studied everyone from the razzmatazz big boys of coaching (like Tony Robbins) to the more balanced and considered side of coaching (like Wayne Dyer), to the furthest corners of personal growth (like Sydney Banks).

And I’ve looked at ideas so common and widespread that they’ve almost become their own memes to ideas so uncommon and unusual that mainstream psychotherapy proclaims them to be a load of baloney.

And throughout this, what I’ve realised is this:

Quitting my job certainly took me out of the furnace.  But that furnace was all in my mind.

Of course, it didn’t feel like this at the time.  It felt hot, fiery and extremely real.  I was getting burnt day after day.

But really I was burning myself.  I see that now.

And this is good news, of course, for anyone who’s stressed, caught in their head or feels like they’re losing touch with themselves.

Because it means that you don’t need to change your situation to make things more tolerable.

You don’t need to quit your job, shift to a four day week or set stronger boundaries.

Sure, these things might help.  You might want to do these things.  And if you do want to, and they work for you, then go for it.

But you don’t need to.

Your whole experience of work and life can shift when you shift how you think about work and life.

Back tomorrow with more.

 - Tom