Yesterday I talked about my self-help “journey”.

And my view that nearly all self-help, personal development and wellbeing advice that dominates apps, social media and books is not just focussed on the wrong stuff, but is completely back to front.

Just like trying to make your dog happier by grabbing its tail and yanking it up & down.

If you’d like to recreate the appearance of a happy dog then knock yourself out. 

Grab that tail and get yanking!

But if you want your dog to actually be happy?

Anyone with two brain cells to rub together knows this isn’t the way to go.

Yet 99% of self-help and personal development advice does this by telling us to work on symptoms and appearances.

As I said yesterday, this isn’t where real, meaningful, long-lasting change takes place.

Focussing on the source of those symptoms is where transformation happens.

That source?

Understanding how we, as humans, really work.

See, most people’s understanding of life is a combination of opinions, beliefs, assumptions and perspectives which have built up naturally over time.

These might not be wrong, per se.

But they’re very unlikely to be right either.

Why?

Because very few things in life are definitively, unequivocally true.  Nearly everything is subjective.

Sure - you might think your view of the world is right.

Guess what though?  So does everyone else!

But there are a handful of universal truths about humans (and life) which are simply just true, whatever way you cut your carrot cake. 

These truths exist separately to opinions, beliefs and perspectives.

And what I’ve seen is that exploring these truths is a really useful place to look. 

Understanding the essence of how things work means you’re swimming with the tide of life, not against it. 

How would I summarise this in a word?

Awareness.

Awareness of the fact you have blind spots (like I do, and like everyone does)...

Awareness of what these might be, or where they might be…

Awareness of how life really works…

Self-awareness…

And even awareness of the importance of awareness (yay, meta!).

Bottom line:

Whatever life you’d love to live, it all starts with awareness.

Now, I don’t know how radical this sounds. 

But it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that gawping at your favourite dimfluencer meditating in an ice bath in Bali in their latest 6 second TikTok video isn’t the way to live a happier life or explore your own awareness.

And nor are daily affirmations, wheatgrass smoothies, thinking positively or perfecting your Warrior One.   

Yes, you might enjoy these activities.  They might benefit you in some way too.

And if they do then please, for the love of Tony Robbins, don’t stop.

But if you think these activities will lead to deep, genuine, personal growth, I have to disagree.  To my mind, they’re just yanking the dog’s tail.

Perhaps this sounds like bad news.

But it’s not.

In fact, it’s great news.

To build awareness, all you need to do is start looking in the right place.

Which brings me on to this:

I’m thinking of working on a new product (maybe a course, maybe a book) which will dive into awareness.  It will be that place to look.

But I’m only going to start if this is something that you, my readers, actually want.

So if you might be interested, please hit reply and let me know.

I’d be grateful.

That’s enough of a chalk talk for today.

Catch you tomorrow.

 - Tom