Here are some things you can’t control:

(however much you might want to and think you can):

*** You can’t control your family – whether it’s your mum, dad, brother, sister, son or daughter.  They will act how they want to act, choose what they want to choose and say what they want to say 

*** You can’t control a situation or event which hasn’t happened yet

*** You can’t control what sort of day your partner has had and their mood when they come home from work.  Their mood is just their mood.  And, like most things, will be different on Tuesday evening to Wednesday evening, and will be different again on Thursday morning

*** You can’t control the stock market, mortgage rates, your tax bill or an unexpected repair cost when your old banger breaks down on the M40.  Sure, you might be able to shop around a little.  But you can’t control these things

*** You can’t control what your friends or colleagues think about you in any moment, in any situation, on any given day.  They’re going to think whatever they want to think

*** You can’t control the weather (I had to throw this one in!)

Long list, isn’t it?

But I’ve barely scratched the surface.

And unless you’ve been practising some Derren Brown mind control techniques, there is no way you, me or anyone else can control these things, or hundreds & thousands of other things besides.

We certainly give it a good go though.

And why wouldn’t we? 

Trying to control what’s happening in the world seems, on the surface, like a sensible way to be safer, reduce our anxiety and navigate the unknown.

Until we realise it doesn’t work!

So the trick isn’t to get better at controlling things which cannot be controlled.  You might as well be learning how to get better at pinning jelly to the wall.

Instead, the trick is to become more okay with the fact that you’re not in control.

This might seem like a big shift to come to terms with.

And perhaps it is if you think that what happens in the outside world (how your Tesla shares are performing, what someone has said about you or whether the sun is shining or not) is the source of your experience of life.

But it’s not.

Our experience of life comes from within us, not from outside us.

It’s possible to be happy, calm and at peace whatever is happening in the world.

Yes, I know this is an unusual point of view.

You might even think I’m bonkers.

So be it.

All I can say is this:

Discovering that how I feel about my circumstances is independent from the circumstances themselves has not just been a revelation, but a revolution in the best possible way.

This is why I’m writing about it today.

And before I wrap up, I want to ask you this:

How would your experience of life change if how you felt had nothing to do with what was happening in the outside world?

It’s worth pondering this question for a few moments.

My bold and provocative claim?

This isn’t just possible or probable…

But it's simply how life works.

If you’d like to explore what this means for you:

https://waitinglist.followingfulfilment.com

 - Tom