The last 12 months have, in some ways, been the most eye-opening 12 months of my life.

Here are my top 3 mindboggling, eye-popping moments:

*** My relationship with my thoughts has changed completely.  The best way I can describe it is like moving from an overwhelmed participant in my thoughts to a suspicious observer of my thoughts. 

Some thoughts used to have a hold on me.  As soon as they appeared, I’d start to analyse them, worry about them, dwell on them, overthink them or try to distract myself from them. 

Nowadays I can let thoughts pass.

Does this mean I never get consumed by a thought?  And that I travel through life like an enlightened Zen monk with nothing on my mind?  Of course not.  But getting on the thought merry-go-round happens a lot less than it used to.  When it does happen, it’s over quicker.  And even if I get caught up in the merry-go-round, it doesn’t feel as intense.  I know it will be temporary. 

This shift hasn't just freed up headspace for other things, but it's simply a more pleasant way to live my life.

*** I see now that my experience of life isn’t down to what’s happening in the world.  It's down to me.  Boy has this been a big one!  Doesn’t matter if my to-do list is a mile long, if I’ve only had 4 hours sleep, if I find myself in a so-called “stressful” situation or if I’m getting peed off at something.  I no longer see these circumstances as the cause of my feelings.

That’s not to say I don’t feel stressed, anxious or annoyed some days.  I certainly do.  But I know now it’s not the world which is causing these, which means I don’t need to change anything (or anyone) in the world to change my experience of life.  I can do this myself – and, for me, there’s a real freedom which comes with this

*** More and more, I’m seeing the folly of living my life in the future.  In particular, planning for and worrying about all the bad stuff that could happen.  It really doesn’t look like a good idea to me now. 

Not just because I’m terrible at predicting the future (as we all are).  Not just because wargaming events that inevitably don’t occur is a colossal waste of time & energy.  Not just because living in the present has so much more to offer. 

But also because I’m increasingly trusting that, even if life does go a bit Pete Tong (as it will do sometimes – it’s inevitable really), it’s not dusting off a pre-made plan which will dig me out of a hole.  Instead, it’s knowing that I’ll be able to figure out what to do at the moment I need to figure it out.

These three insights are radically different approaches to how I used to live my life and how the echo chamber of society views things. 

But they feel as true & real to me as anything has ever felt.

I’m sure I’ll look back on this email a year from now and think “you didn’t know the half of it Tom”.

Or even “you didn’t know 99% of it Tom!”.

And you know what?

I hope I do.

Moving right along:

There are a handful of distinct activities which have helped me shift how I see these parts of life.

Being coached is one.

Writing these daily emails for the last 18 months is another. 

Getting words down on paper knowing that people will read these words means I need to write coherently.

(sometimes I even manage to pull it off!)

This, in turn, helps me deepen my understanding of what I write about.  Almost like a form of self-coaching.

Thus my offer for today:

If one of these insights has got you curious, hit reply and let me know.  And if you want, I’ll write more about it.

Not because I’m an expert on any of this stuff.  Far from it.

But simply because the things I’ve seen have helped me, they might help you too, and together we might see more.

This way, everyone’s a winner.

That’s all for today.

 - Tom