Can I let you into a secret?

Don’t tell Lauren.

But whenever I ask Lauren for a favour, I’ll wait for a good moment before I bring it up.  A moment when Lauren's full of beans, or feeling happy, or riding a high.

Why do I do this?

Because I know I’m much more likely to get the answer I want when she’s not got stuff on her mind or she’s had a bad day.

Sneaky?

Perhaps.

But you know what? 

I think she does it with me too!  

Especially if the bins need taking out or some DIY needs doing around the flat.

(not that I’m much use when it comes to DIY, mind you.  You might as well be asking a snowman to stoke the fire)

Anyhow…

It dawned on me how little we follow this strategy with ourselves sometimes.

Here’s what I mean:

Even if there’s work to be done, options to think about or decisions to be made…

It doesn’t mean we should do them!

At least, not always.  Not then and there.

Especially if we’re not in the right state of mind.

Say we’re tired, grumpy or our head is a bit frazzled.

Guess what?

It’s probably NOT a good time to send that wordy email, have that important conversation or make that big decision.

For one:  we’re simply not going to do as good a job when we're caught up like this.

But more to the point: 

We’re likely to do our job in a way that takes the sting out of however we’re feeling.

Feeling rushed?  You’ll probably consider your options as quickly as you can.

Feeling stressed?  You’ll probably make whatever decision allows you to relax.

Feeling ignored?  You’ll probably do your job in a way that helps you to be seen.

But none of these is likely to lead to the best outcome.

See, taking action to improve our mood is not the way to go about things. 

Instead, the mood change must come first.  I've found that things go much better when our actions come from a place of peace and calm, rather than trying to find this place through our actions.

I know it’s not always easy to catch this.  Especially when we’re caught up in the moment.

But being aware of it might help you catch it more.  Whether in the moment, or later on.

Some food for thought perhaps.

That’s my two pennies’ worth for today.

- Tom

p.s. In my experience, one of the obstacles to acting from calm (rather than acting to find calm) is time.  In particular, how little time everyone seems to have nowadays.

On that note:

I’m going to be re-opening the doors soon to Time Conqueror (my email-based time management challenge).

So if you’re someone who feels like there’s never enough time in the day, you might want to keep your eyes peeled for this.

More info to come.