Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be (Wayne Dyer)
For much of my 20s, it looked like things were going
great.
But how things looked and how they felt were very different.
Despite the good exam results, decent university, solid job and nice holidays & fancy meals around London & the rest of the world, I never felt
like I could relax and breathe out.
i.e. I never felt content or fulfilled.
And I always wondered:
Why not? Why did my life look good on paper but feel so different in reality?
After going deep into the world of psychology and transformation over the last 24 months, I think I’ve figured out the answer.
Here’s my theory in one line:
Fulfilled people don’t follow the rules of living. They follow the rules of life.
The difference?
The rules of living are how people approach their lives.
Whereas the rules of life are simply how life works.
And if I had to
summarise why some people tick all the tried & tested boxes yet still feel like something is missing in their lives, and why others live lives of abundance, peace, fulfilment and joy regardless of how few or how many boxes they’ve ticked, this would be it.
You could say fulfilled people know that life is a game of chess and play the game this
way. They’re using the rules of life to play the game of life.
Compare this to those who sit at the chessboard of life and use the rules of chequers instead.
Can you see why this might not go so
well?
Why it might lead to a bucketload of stress, frustration and getting stuck?
Of course, it’s not like anyone uses the wrong rules on purpose.
A lot of people aren’t even aware they’re doing it.
That’s probably because their parents, friends, teachers, colleagues, the media & society at large have told them (innocently, I might add) that the rules of living are the “right” rules to follow or the rules they
“should” be following.
And so people follow along with the micro rules of living (like social norms)…
They follow the macro rules of living (like getting a good job, working hard and settling down)…
And they follow the meta rules of living (“why aren’t you doing what everyone else is doing?” or “make sure you follow the rules!”)
I’m sure rules like these work for some people.
But that, in a nutshell, is the problem with the rules of living. If they work for some, they’re not going to work for others.
The rules of life, on the other hand, are universal.
They’re rules which were true in the past, are true today, and will be just as true in the future.
Sure, they’re a lot harder to find.
And they’re
buried beneath the overbearing squawking of those who tell you to follow the rules of living instead.
But it pays to have a look.
It pays to get clear on the micro rules of life (like what’s really in your control and
what’s not)…
The macro rules of life (like who you are and where your experience comes from)…
And the meta rules of life (i.e. realising that the rules of life exist and they can be trusted).
This way, you’re not unknowingly going along with what everyone else is doing, what’s expected of you or simply doing the done thing.
Instead, if you do decide to get a certain job, work hard or settle down (or whatever else), you’re doing it because
it’s the right thing for you. And you know, based on the rules of life, what each of these things could lead to and more importantly what each of them won’t lead to.
It’s knowing the rules of life which allows you to create your own rules of living.
This is what bridges that gap between expectation and reality.
And that is what leads to fulfilment.
If you want to start playing by your own
rules:
https://waitinglist.followingfulfilment.com
-
Tom