Imagine this:

You’re at the racetrack one afternoon enjoying a flutter with a few friends.

You place a small wager on each race but lady luck isn’t on your side.  As the racing finishes up, you’ve lost a wad of cash.

You glance over at the bar.  There’s a guy surrounded by a group of buddies, big smile on his face, bottle of champagne in hand, pouring everyone a glass.

This chap has obviously had a good day.

You listen to his conversation.  Turns out he picked the winner on every single race!

You’re so impressed that you hot foot it over and ask him how he did it.

And he tells you!

He rattles off exactly what numbers he bet on.

Now let me ask you this:

Will you go back to the racecourse next week and bet on these same numbers?

After all, this guy has just handed you his winning formula on a silver platter.

Or has he?

Clearly betting these numbers next week would be a goofy, nonsensical thing to do.

Yet people follow advice like this like a sheep follows a shepherd.  They look at the actions of “successful” people (experts, role models, dimfluencers and so on) then try to carve out a career in the same way, or manage their finances the same way, or even try to find happiness in the same way as whoever has blazed their own trail before them.

It’s an approach to life which is no different to copying the winners from last week’s race.

You might say this is a silly analogy.

But I say this analogy doesn’t go far enough.

Betting on horses is one thing.  You put your money down, stand back and see what happens.  You’re a spectator, not a participant.

But the game of life is different.  It’s a contact sport.

In life, you can influence & experiment.  You can make your own decisions.  And you can bring your unique talents, skills and preferences to the table.

So why would following in the footsteps or blindly heeding the advice of someone who is not you, is not in your situation and has a completely different set of talents, skills & preferences (no two people have the same, after all) ever get you where you want to go?

I can’t see how it would.

Life isn’t like building a bed from Ikea or baking chocolate brownies.  There’s no “right way” to live your life.  There’s certainly no recipe or instruction manual to follow, even if other people say there is. 

And any time you find yourself following someone’s recipe, you might as well be asking a robot to live your life for you.

Maybe you have a few counterexamples.

That’s fine.  Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Way I see it, using other people as a recipe book for life will inevitably lead to a life where something’s missing.

And in case you’re wondering what that thing is:

It’s you.

I know some might find this jarring.

But I’m trying to point out what I’ve learnt - the hard way, taking grenades in the trenches - so others don’t make the same mistakes.

It’s 100% possible to live a life true to yourself, not scripted by someone else.

The way to do this is by understanding what’s right for you.

And the key to doing that is by understanding who you really are.

If you’d like to get started:

https://waitinglist.followingfulfilment.com

That’s all for today.

 - Tom