If I had to sum up social conditioning in a sentence, I’d put it like this:

Society isn’t very good at separating the raisins from the rice pudding.

Best way to explain this?

By giving some examples.

Here we go:

   1. Not worrying doesn’t mean you don’t care

   2. Prioritising yourself doesn’t mean you’re selfish

   3. Something going wrong doesn’t mean it’s broken

   4. Something being broken doesn’t mean you need to fix it

   5. Having a thought doesn’t mean you need to pay attention to it

   6. Trusting something or someone doesn’t mean you have no doubt

   7. Being in a stressful environment doesn’t mean you need to be stressed

   8. Taking a step forward doesn’t mean you need to know the step after that

   9. Heading in an unexpected direction doesn’t mean you’re heading off course

One or two of these might seem obvious.

One or two might seem so outlandish you could be wondering if I’ve taken a trip to la la land.

But I haven’t!

Really, they’re all the same.  They’re all examples of conflation.  Of things that may well follow (for the quibblers & nit-pickers out there: I’m not saying all of these are never true) but that society has decided are always, 100% true. 

You could say that consensus dictates that X implies Y, even though there’s no implication whatsoever.

But forget big words like “conflation” and “implication”. 

I simply call it separating the raisins from the rice pudding.

And there can be real advantages to untangling the two.

Take number 8.  Isn’t it re-assuring to know that you can take the next step in your life without needing to know the step after that?

Take number 1.  Isn’t it a relief to know that not worrying in no way implies that you don’t care about someone or something?

And take number 7.   Isn’t it wonderful – even extraordinary –  to realise that your experience of life has nothing to do with your circumstances?

Maybe you don’t feel this way.  I don’t want to assume that you will. 

But maybe, just maybe, there’s a little something here for you.

On a related note:

I’ve been pondering if there’s an overarching statement or guiding principle which sits above all these examples.

And I think there is. I think there’s a way to sum up exactly what’s going on here when society mixes the raisins with the rice pudding.

But I’d love to hear what you think.  I’m puddin’ you to the test!

Hit reply and let me know your thoughts.

In return, I’ll email you back and tell you what I came up with.

That’s all for today.

 - Tom