One of the tropes I see shrilled & squawked by the personal development dimfluencers?

The power of the reframe.

If you believe the squawking, you’ll think that reframing is the answer to all your prayers.

In fact, re-framing has got so popular and so in vogue (I see reframe posts plastered everywhere on LinkedIn and Instagram nowadays) that you’d be forgiven for thinking that all you need to do is find a cheery spin on whatever less than positive situation you’re in, and – alakazam! – all will be right with the world again.

So a challenging task becomes a “development opportunity”.

A setback becomes a “chance to learn”.

Stress becomes “growth in disguise”.

And so on.

I’m sure those who root for the reframe have good intentions.

But I have to say I’m suspicious of all this.

Here’s why:

You can dress a pig in a top hat, dinner jacket, monocle and brogues (or in a cocktail dress and heels if you prefer), but when all’s said and done, you’ve still got a pig. 

You’re not fooling anyone, least of all yourself.

And so it is with reframes.

Even if you use the most fashionable, dazzling and on-trend reframe, taking a quandary and dressing it up doesn’t change the fact that you’ve still got a quandary - however much you try to trick your brain otherwise.

But there is another option.

What if, instead of changing how your quandary looks, you stopped seeing your quandary as a quandary in the first place?

I call this a preframe.

Yes, this might sound like semantics. 

But hear me out.

Imagine the difference if someone didn’t need to try to convince themselves that their setback was really a chance to grow, and simply didn’t see it as a setback to begin with?

Or if they didn’t need to cajole themselves into believing that their next step was an exciting opportunity rather than a terrifying leap into the unknown?

It’s a completely different perspective.

It could lead to a completely transformed experience.

And, more to the point, it’s 100% possible.

But here’s the crux:

Preframing isn’t a mindset you can adopt.  It’s not a task you can “do” like boiling an egg, taking the bins out or scrolling through Instagram to find a funky reframe.

You can’t “do” how you see life.  It’s just how you see life.

The good news?

The way you see life can change.

It all starts by exploring how life really works.

The even better news?

Exploring how life really works is at the beating heart of my coaching.

If you’d like to find out more:

https://waitinglist.followingfulfilment.com

That’s all for today.

Have a great weekend.

 - Tom