I’ll never forget one particular weekend a few years ago.

We’re going back many moons.  Maybe 6 or 7 years.

I’d decided to fly to Edinburgh for the annual Edinburgh Chess Congress.

This weekend was sandwiched slap bang in the middle of a challenging time at work. 

Two departments had merged and I was responsible for running a project to update 1,000s of systems records including customer details, financial MI, colleague data and various risk stats. 

It was a gargantuan task.  It dominated my working week for a couple of months and by the time my Edinburgh weekend rolled around the project was running behind schedule. 

And it was all I could think about during that chess weekend. 

Forget the “Sunday Scaries” or the “Monday Dread”.  This was the full blown Weekend Worries.

As I checked in at Stanstead Airport for my flight on the Friday afternoon, I was already mentally planning all the work I needed to do when I got back to the office on Monday.

As I sat at the chessboard on Saturday, trying to calculate whether or not to launch a risky sacrifice with my bishop, my mind flipped to the implications of the project missing its deadline. 

And even when my head hit my pillow that night, my mind was racing with thoughts about what could go wrong with the work project and what unforeseen problems could arise.

I was playing chess in Edinburgh in body.  But my mind was 100% back at work in London. 

Fast forward to today and the Weekend Worries are, on the whole, a thing of the past.

If I had to sum up what’s changed, I think I’d put it like this:

Mentally time travelling into the future to solve a problem which hasn’t happened yet doesn’t look like a good idea any more. 

Not just because a problem isn’t a problem until it arrives.

Not just because the problem might look very different if & when it does arrive. 

But also because we’re made to solve real problems as & when they occur.  Not imaginary problems which haven’t happened yet.

If someone had said all this to me in my Edinburgh chess days, I might’ve seen some truth in these statements.  

They’re pretty logical after all.

But I know it wouldn’t have made any difference.  I know that I still would’ve been stuck in my head, worrying about what might go wrong with this project.

So why aren’t I nowadays? 

Because there’s another piece to the jigsaw:

It’s not that I’ve realised logically or intellectually that the best time to solve a problem is when that problem arises. 

It’s that I understand this at a deeper level.  I know it to be true in my bones.

I realise “chess in Edinburgh” Tom might’ve read words like these and thought them confusing at best and barmy at worst.  He might’ve wondered “how can you know something outside your intellect?” 

It’s a great question and I’m not even sure I’ve got a good answer.

I will say this though:

Every single one of us has moments where we sense something which doesn’t come from our intellect or logic.  A more experiential feeling of being connected to something bigger than us or even to a deeper reality of life.  And it feels more true than any rationalisation could ever do. 

Anyone who’s spent time travelling will grasp this idea in a flash. 

Reading a few pages of a guidebook doesn’t even come close to actually being in a new city, observing the various customs & their nuances, picking up on the vibe of the place, watching people interact, sensing the daily rhythms, noticing the overall way of life and feeling it all in real time.

This is knowledge which cannot be learnt from a textbook and then recited on demand. 

You might not be able to put words to it all.

But that doesn’t mean you don’t know it. 

In fact, I’d go so far to say this kind of felt knowledge is radically deeper and truer than a logical knowledge.

This is, in a nutshell, what coaching is all about.  It's a way to experience and deepen "logical truths" so they aren't just facts & figures, but an attitude to life which you can feel, trust & rely on.  

But enough about all that.

I had 20 years of weekends just like that one in Edinburgh before I found this way to let a lot of my Weekend Worries go.

I’ve also noticed the worries don’t pop up as much in the first place, which is a great but somewhat surreal turn up for the books after being a serial worrier for so long.

If I can make this shift then I have zero hesitation in saying that anyone can.

And while no-one can turn back the clock and change the last 20 years, we can absolutely change the next 20.

If you want to get started:

https://waitinglist.followingfulfilment.com

That’s all for today.

 - Tom