A couple of months ago I had a huge “a ha” moment.

It happened during a couple of coaching sessions of my own. 

i.e. I was the client instead of the coach.

One of the topics which came up on the calls was social anxiety.

There’ve been many times in the past where I’ve been sitting in a meeting with colleagues, standing in a networking room with new faces or even down the pub with some pals and I’ve felt intensely self-conscious.  And, as result, I’ve noticed myself avoid eye contact with people, avoid speaking, or even just avoid going to the meeting, networking event or pub in the first place.

A year or so with a therapist didn’t do much to change this.

But I always suspected there would be a way to ease some of this anxiety and I thought it was worth a shot during these coaching sessions.

Halfway through the second session, my coach made a comment which stopped me in my tracks.

It got right to the nub of the anxiety I felt.  And I knew what the coach was saying was true, even though it had never occurred to me before.

So what was the sentence?

Actually, it's not important.

You see, the impact wasn’t just the words in the sentence.

Instead, it was having a coach sitting opposite me, 100% present and connected to me, guiding, pointing and exploring with me and suggesting a new way of looking at anxiety which had simply never crossed my mind before.

A way which was rooted in The Inside-Out Understanding from which I coach too.

And a sentence which was part of a wider conversation which followed the previous session.  A session where I wasn’t just open to hearing something new, but ready & willing to take a look at the truth of what I was hearing too.

So the words in the sentence were one tiny part of what made that sentence so impactful.

And you know what?

Over the last few months, I’ve noticed a real, tangible change.  That one sentence means I can look someone in the eye now and most of the time not be self-conscious or anxious.

For instance:

A few weeks ago I went to an evening meet-up for an online community I’m part of.

(geek alert!)

In the past, I would’ve played that meet-up over in my head for days before.  I would’ve kept a low profile when I arrived, sat on the edge of the group, had a beer, then left.

I might’ve even skipped the meet-up altogether.

But that evening I was out of my head, not self-conscious and I actually enjoyed being at the meet-up.

Sure – I wasn’t the life and soul of the party.  That’s not my style. 

But I was chatting to people, getting to know my fellow geeks, sharing stuff about my life and I even swapped details with a couple of folk, one of which might lead to a cool opportunity for this newsletter.

So why am I telling you all this?

Because I’m trying to impart the power of coaching and how effective The Inside-Out Understanding is.

I’m certainly not saying every coaching sessions is littered with life-changing sentences.

But I am saying that the right approach and a fresh & impactful perspective can be remarkably powerful.

If you’d like to read more about coaching, here’s the link:

https://waitinglist.followingfulfilment.com

 - Tom