This is the third time I’ve started writing this email.

At about 6.25am, I began to draft an answer to a reader’s question about my email yesterday (the problem with meditation).

10 minutes later, I switched tack and started writing about something cool I’d noticed in the office (how easy it can be to wind ourselves up when we have mountains of work or urgent deadlines).

But both times, the words stopped after a couple of lines.

And I think I know why.

There’s something else I need to write about today.  An elephant in the room.

And it’s this:

For the last couple of weeks, it feels like I’ve lost my daily email mojo.

It’s not just that I’ve had less energy (although I have – my day job is super busy right now and there’s a bunch of stuff happening in my personal life which is taking up a lot of time and energy too).

But it’s also that the daily email magic dust – that sparkle and je ne sais quoi (ooh la la) which usually characterises my experience of writing these emails – has dimmed.

Maybe this isn’t surprising.

I’ve been writing these daily emails for over two years.  And after two years it’s easy to get stuck in a rut and for a more predictable, paint-by-numbers approach to step on my daily email toes.

If I’m being honest with myself, I can feel some of this sneaking in. 

I’m also wary of striking the right balance.  I don’t want these daily emails to be the tail wagging the dog and I also don’t want to repeat mistakes from the past where I got the balance all wrong, de-prioritised myself, started to pat myself on the back for the sacrifices I was making (another 10pm finish?  that’s a gold star Tom!) and burn myself out in the process. 

That’s exactly what happened three or four years ago in the first iteration of my banking career.

And while I’m not saying this is happening now at work or with these emails, it’s still something I think about from time to time.

Clearly there will always be bumps along the way.  Life isn’t linear and daily emails aren’t linear either.  Plus I know I’ve still got a lot more in my daily email locker.

So I’m pretty sure everything I’ve just described will pass.

But I still wanted to take a moment on this.

See, I’ve written about my writing in previous emails.

(today I’m writing about writing about my writing - oh, the levels!)

And while it’s true when I say my writing and these emails are a genuine source of satisfaction and even pleasure in my life, this isn’t true 100% of the time. 

These emails aren’t always rainbows and unicorns…

I certainly have some doubts & reservations now and again...

And I wanted to be open about that. 

Anyway, I don’t have a big takeaway or pithy one-liner to sum everything up today.

Just felt like sharing a few things on my mind.

That’s all for now. 

Have a great weekend.

 - Tom