Over the weekend I donned my retro headband, fluorescent tank top and tie-dye shorts to visit my local gym for a 40 minute HIIT workout.

“Gym” doesn’t quite capture it though.

The place is more a mash-up between a rave and a military bootcamp.

The lights are turned down low, the funky house is blaring and the exercises are frenzied, fast-paced and borderline bizarre.

Take, for instance, one of the exercises from my last session:

Pogo jumps.

When I heard the trainer call out “Pogo jumps next”, I remember feeling puzzled.  I’d never heard of pogo jumps.

I glanced over as the trainer started her demo.

Her feet were pressed tightly together as she made quick, small jumps up and down.  Each time her feet landed and sprung back up, she added a slight forward and backward flick with her lower legs.

She looked like an over-caffeinated penguin trying to do a moonwalk.

I noticed a few of my classmates glancing round with uncertain expressions.  The thought of these goofy pogo jumps was clearly making some people feel self-conscious.

I felt self-conscious too.

And that’s when the trainer said this:

“Remember – it’s only embarrassing if you feel embarrassed”

As soon as I heard these words, I knew she was right.

Embarrassment is subjective. It’s a state of mind. 

It’s not inherent to any situation.

As if to prove the point, a few of the fitfluencers in the class had already started pogo-ing like their lives depended on it.  They certainly didn't care what anyone else thought.

But here’s the kicker:

It’s ALL subjective.  Wherever we go and whatever we do.

It’s only awkward if you feel awkward.

It’s only stressful if you feel stressed.

It’s only scary if you feel scared.

And so on.

Which means it’s all up to you!

Seeing the truth of this has been the most freeing insight I’ve had.

And I don’t say that lightly.

Knowing that whenever I feel embarrassed, stressed or afraid it’s coming from me means I don’t need to avoid situations because of how I think they’ll make me feel.

How I feel is up to me.

That’s not me saying I’m jumping head first into every single situation.  Of course I’m not.

But increasingly I’m not avoiding situations because I’m worried about how they’ll make me feel.

That’s the key distinction.

Turns out there are lots of events, places, people, opportunities, adventures and conversations I’ve avoided in the past because I was worried about how they’d make me feel. 

An email for another day perhaps.

Whatever the case, maybe you can think of your own examples.

And if you have plans & ideas you’re not going for because of nerves, self-doubt, fear or anything similar, I can help.

If you like the sound of that, there’s more info to jump on here:

https://waitinglist.followingfulfilment.com

That’s all for today.

 - Tom