Might sound strange, but for a lot of my life I felt like a Jenga Tower.

Anyone looking at me would’ve seen me standing tall and climbing higher.  But to me, the slightest nudge or one loose block and the whole tower would’ve come tumbling down.

Because of this, it was difficult to escape the feeling that something bad was always about to happen.

Even though I couldn’t put my finger on what or how exactly, it felt like disaster could strike at any moment.

When I woke up in the mornings, all would be right with the world.  I’d feel calm and peaceful.  And then a few seconds later this feeling of dread would wash over me and, once it had, it was like a low level hum that didn’t go away.

It didn’t stop me going about my business.  I could still operate pretty smoothly in the world.

But equally that hum was always there and also rather unpleasant.

I’m sure my job had something to do with it.  Updating a Credit Paper for the 17^th time didn’t exactly set my soul on fire.

But it also felt deeper than just work. 

It felt like any block from the Jenga Tower could become loose at any moment. 

I remember talking to my Mum about the Iraq War and telling her how uneasy it made me feel.

We’re going back 30 or so years ago now and maybe this is an odd example.

But the newspapers at the time were full of articles about WMDs and as a kid I found it unsettling. It genuinely felt like the world could come to an end.

It’s that same unsettling feeling which has lingered around.

I can tell as I write that this email isn’t the cheeriest.  I know I haven’t dropped my usual witty banter.

But this stuff is worth a mention.

Especially if you feel like your own Jenga Tower could topple over at a moment’s notice too.

What I’ve come to see is that most of the “strategies” we use to manage our fears or shed our dread are as useful as a chocolate teapot.

Even a word in someone’s ear as innocent and well-meaning as “don’t worry, that’ll never happen” can backfire.  All it does is re-enforce the idea that if that terrible thing did happen, it would indeed be terrible or even devastating.

i.e. it makes things worse, not better.

Anyway, a lot of the time I couldn’t even tie this feeling of dread back to a certain terrible event.

I couldn’t see reasons for feeling anxious.  I just felt that way.

Until, that is, I started to look in a different direction and started asking different questions.

These were questions like “what is dread?”, “what is dread telling me?” and “where does dread come from?”

As I discovered, a feeling like dread almost certainly isn’t telling us what we think it’s telling us.

But I’m starting to get into the weeds of it now.

Backing up for a moment:

In 24 hours, I’m taking down the cart for my upcoming Subtraction Method Mastery programme.

This programme bottles everything I’ve learnt about how to live a happy, fulfilling life from my training with American “supercoach” Michael Neill and holding weekly workshops in the office for my esteemed colleagues (24 workshops and counting).

Subtraction Method Mastery is a route to waking up in the morning and feeling eager about what’s in store, rather than dreading another day when catastrophe could strike at any moment.

I’ve created a short doc which contains all the details.

If you’d like to have a look, hit reply, tell me a bit about your situation and why you’re interested, and I’ll shoot the doc straight over.

But don’t hang about.

The cart for Subtraction Method Mastery closes 24 hours from the time I hit send on this email.