In January, I sent out an email with the subject line Separating the raisins from the rice pudding

The point in that email was a simple one:

We often take unrelated concepts and treat them as if they’re the same.

For instance, we think that going in an unexpected direction means we’re heading off course.  Or we confuse a lack of worry with a lack of care and concern.

And so on.

Anyway, I had a lot of fun writing that email.

Since then, other raisin & rice pudding mix-ups have surfaced in my scribble-happy brain.

So here are a few more examples of where society isn’t very good at separating the raisins from the rice pudding:

*** Leading a team isn't the same as leading people.  Leading a team is all about targets and results.  Leading people is all about hearts and minds 

*** Doing serious work doesn’t mean you need a heavy, intense, overly formal approach to that work.  Even the most serious work can be done with a lightness and sense of play 

*** Wanting to do something doesn’t mean you need a reason to want to do it.  If anything, your wanting is the reason

*** Being the loudest voice doesn’t mean you have the most influence.  Influence doesn’t come from how loud you speak and how often you speak it

*** You can be overloaded without being overwhelmed.  You can also be overwhelmed without being overloaded (hat tip to “supercoach” Michael Neill for this one)

*** Understanding more about thoughts doesn’t mean you won’t have thoughts.  Understanding more about feelings doesn’t mean you won’t have feelings

On that last one:

When I first got into the self-improvement game, part of me thought the perfect outcome would be turning into a serene, emotionless zen master, floating above all the chaos with barely a twitch or a tremor.

But the more I read, study, understand, talk to my own coach and go deeper into this exploration, the more I see that’s not where peace of mind is found.

Turning off thoughts and feelings isn’t just impossible.  It’s also turning off what it means to be human.

The real benefit doesn't come from silencing our inner world.  It comes from changing our relationship with it.

This is how we navigate uncertainty, find peace amidst the noise and welcome ALL our thoughts and feelings.  

Even the ones we wish we didn’t have.

If you’d like to get started:

https://waitinglist.followingfulfilment.com