Sunday evening to be precise.
When the clock struck 8pm, I poured myself a tot of whiskey, plonked myself on the sofa, grabbed my iPad and fired up Derek Sivers’ short new book, Useful Not True.
For anyone late to the party, Derek is an entrepreneur-turned-philosopher. I’ve been reading his blog, articles and books for over 10 years. His writing is short, sharp and has an uncanny knack of getting right to the heart of things.
Useful Not True is no exception.
The book is about how our brains lie to us, how our thoughts deceive us and the difference between perspective and fact.
Ring any bells?
As I read, I came across a story about the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster which got me thinking about my memory.
So much so, in fact, that I thought “Aha! This story is perfect for a daily email”.
Here’s the memorable excerpt:
***
January 28, 1986, at 11:39am, the Space Shuttle exploded during lift-off, killing all seven crew members. It was a big deal. As soon as it happened, everyone stopped what they were doing to
watch the TV updates.
Because it was a school day in America, a psychology professor handed out a questionnaire to his freshman students, asking what they had been doing moments earlier when they had first heard the news. Where were you? Who were you with? What were you doing?
Then, he saved their answers for three years, for the sake of what came next.
Three years later, he gave those same students the same questionnaire, asking what they had been doing when the Space Shuttle exploded. After they answered, he asked how confident they were in
their answers. Almost all of them said 100%.
Then he showed them their original answers from the day it happened. Nobody remembered correctly. Their answers were all different. Everybody had misremembered their own facts.
Memories feel like facts, but they're not. People don't doubt their memory, but you should.
***
Said another way:
Memories are thoughts and our thoughts are not to be trusted.
Sure, memories aren’t passing thoughts like “shall I pour another tot?”. They’re stickier, more tenacious thoughts.
But they’re still thoughts.
And reading that passage jogged a little something in my mind.
Which was this:
Improving our memories doesn't hinge on recalling more information. Especially when that information is likely to be false (forgotten the story already?).
Instead, it hinges on recognising how we relate to that information.
So while we can’t control whether a painful or joyful memory comes to mind, we can control the influence it has on our experience.
To me, that’s a real improvement – and worth remembering.
Before I forget:
If you’ve ever felt weighed down by your thoughts (memories, worries, doubts or concerns) and wondered how to regain control, that’s exactly what I help people with through my coaching.
Does that sound useful?
Let’s chat if so.
You can find all the details here:
https://waitinglist.followingfulfilment.com