99% of personal development articles, podcasts & newsletters are falling over themselves to tell you what to do to find clarity, calm and happiness.

Hence clickbait titles like:

*** Achieve any goal with these 7 simple steps!

*** 11 mindfulness tips to help you find inner peace!!

*** 9 happiness hacks to blast away the winter blues!!!

I might’ve used one or two similar subject lines myself back in the early days of this newsletter.

(guilty as charged! string me up!)

But the Inside-Out Understanding which I write about and coach from takes a radically different approach.

It says you already have the clarity, calm and happiness you’re looking for. 

The only thing which stops you from seeing this is trying to find what you already have. 

It’s kind of like racing round your house, checking all the shelves, under your table, behind the back of the sofa, retracing your steps, wracking your brains, flapping around, heart rate on the rise and getting in a tizz all to find the pair of glasses which are already sitting snugly on the top of your head.

So in a valiant attempt to redress the balance, I hereby present my very own clickbait style headline.

But I’m not about to explain what to do.

I’m not even going to explain what not to do.

(that’s just another way of saying what to do)

Instead, I'm going to suggest a few things you don’t need to do. 

My “minus 5” tips, so to speak.  5 actions which are common as muck yet which won't lead to clarity, calm & happiness and might even sabotage any honest attempts to find them.

Here goes:

*** You don’t need to dig out any instruction manuals, formulae, systems, tactics, strategies or checklists to find clarity, calm and happiness

*** No need to do anything with your behaviours.  You don’t need to meditate more, practice mindfulness, go for walks, take breaks, go for a nap, light a candle, take a bath, set boundaries, recite positive affirmations or start chanting kumbaya round a campfire 

*** You don’t need to do anything with your thoughts.  You don’t need to think more positively, suppress your thoughts, analyse your thoughts, reframe your thoughts, quieten your thoughts, distract yourself from your thoughts, upgrade your thoughts or try to ignore your thoughts

*** No need to do anything about your circumstances.  You don’t need to get a promotion at work, buy a new house, lose weight, move to a new city, find a new partner, dump your current partner, travel the world, start a business, quit your job, upgrade your wardrobe or renovate your kitchen

*** You don’t need to do anything with your beliefs.  You don’t need to uncover your beliefs, refute your beliefs, question your beliefs, examine your beliefs, replace your beliefs, change your beliefs or adapt your beliefs

To be clear:

This isn’t me saying “don’t meditate”, “don’t use reframes” or “don’t buy your dream house”. 

If you want to meditate or buy a new house, crack on.  Why wouldn’t you?

But what I am saying is you don’t NEED to do these if you’re trying to find more clarity, calm and happiness.

And that’s because there’s nothing you can do to find more of what you already have.

Apart from, perhaps, getting curious about what might be stopping you from seeing this.

Anyway, I know this isn’t a common idea.  I know there might be a few furrowed brows right now.

So I’m intrigued…

Are you casting a sceptical eye?  Do you have questions?  Anything you’d like to be unpacked?

If so, hit reply and shoot me an email.  And I’ll get back to you.

If it’s an interesting question, I might even publish it in a future newsletter.

That’s all for today.

 - Tom