Note: I’m writing an occasional series about my own coaching sessions. This is part 3.
Lauren and I have been hunting for somewhere to live.
With our little ankle-biter
on the way, we need more space. So Casa Grundy will soon become pram-friendly, toy-filled and kid-proofed Fort Grundy instead.
We’ve put in a couple of offers on places we like. Places with good potential to raise up the drawbridge and batten down the hatches.
But both offers were rejected.
Now, in the past this might’ve got to me.
Taking trips to view potential pads, putting in an offer, imagining living in
the new place, getting optimistic and then being told a big, fat, hairy “NO!” would’ve been discouraging.
It could’ve even lead to thoughts like “this is such a bore” or “we’ll never find a place at this rate”.
But
when our offers were rejected I found myself thinking “No biggie. Must be part of a bigger plan the universe has up its sleeve. Maybe there’s a better place coming up soon”.
These thoughts were more re-assuring.
And as I was spilling the beans on this to my coach (I can’t remember how we got onto the subject now), it dawned on me:
Telling myself “the universe has a plan up its sleeve” is the same as telling myself “we’ll never find a place to live”.
Sure, the words are different.
But it’s still a point of view. It’s still an interpretation.
Nothing wrong with that, you might say.
And you’d be right. This kind of positive spin is a much more pleasant way to live life than filling our heads with negative chatter.
But, as my coach pointed out, there’s another way.
An even more accepting,
flowing and peaceful way.
That way?
We don’t need to think anything about events if we don’t want to.
Instead, we can choose to let events simply be.
Why would we want to do this?
Because any narrative which re-enforces the idea “I’ll be happier if I think more positive thoughts” is missing the
point:
We don’t need to think anything to be happy.
That’s literally why it’s called “peace of mind”.
This isn’t me saying I’m about to abandon all my positive thoughts and live a life of nihilistic indifference.
What I’m saying is that the less it looks like a good idea to control & manage my thoughts, the more peace and happiness I’ll find.
And this is ultimately what I want.
If you’re looking for something similar then I can help.
Mosey on over here if so:
https://waitinglist.followingfulfilment.com
That’s all for today.
- Tom