The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on.  It is never any use to oneself – Oscar Wilde

Something unexpected has happened at work.

I think it’s because I’m open about my backstory and the fact I burnt myself out, took a sabbatical, quit my job, started coaching, completed my 7 month coaching certification and then went back to my old job.

So I have a different perspective to most when it comes to working life, career paths and climbing the greasy corporate ladder.

As it turns out, some colleagues are interested in my perspective on their own work-related challenges and decisions. 

Especially the younger generation.

Those energetic rookies with a fire in their belly and stars in their eyes.

Once or twice a month I’ll get an email or Teams message from an enthusiastic young gun asking if I fancy popping out for a matcha oat latte so they can pick my brains.

This is unexpected. 

I was never the guy people came to for career advice.

And it’s left me with a dilemma:

Do I stroke my wispy salt-and-pepper beard and give advice with my Tom the Banker hat on?  Or do I give advice with my Coach Tom hat on instead?

I’ve noticed what I say is different depending which hat I’m wearing.

Tom the Banker toes the party line.  He trots out the usual generic & hackneyed advice given by any industry veteran to an up-and-coming eager beaver.

Advice like “find a mentor”, “ask lots of questions” and “network your hiney off”.

Yada yada yada.

But Coach Tom doesn’t go down this route.

In fact, Coach Tom tries not to hand out any advice.

And that’s because Coach Tom knows that giving advice cuts zero ice compared to someone finding the answers for themselves, from themselves.

See, my own experience of receiving advice is that most advice sounds reasonable and logical.

Sometimes I even find myself going “ooooooh, what good advice!”.

But when it comes to implementing the advice, something feels off.  

Not only does the advice often not work, but it also feels icky and misaligned.  A bit like wearing someone else’s shoes.

No wonder. 

Following other people’s well-intentioned textbook ideas means we’ve ignored a much more reliable source of advice.

That source is us.

Ultimately this is the problem with handing out advice.  Someone might decide to follow it.

In many ways, this is what makes coaching such a delight.

I don’t need to worry about trotting out advice that sounds impressive. 

Instead, I can point people towards the source of their own advice and watch them light up as they become more & more connected to this.

So if your working life feels off – if it feels like you’re wearing someone else’s shoes and each day you’re drifting further away from your own authentic path – then it might be time to stop listening to other people and start listening to yourself instead.

Here’s where to go if you’d like to get into the “how to”:

https://waitinglist.followingfulfilment.com