Something playful today:

A ground-breaking new office-based personality test has been released by that bastion of balanced and non-sensationalised news...

The Daily Mail Online.

The personality test?

It’s all based on how you butter your toast.

According to the test, the way you apply this creamy dairy product to a slice of golden brown bread reveals how you go about your business in the office.  

Not convinced?  

Well, I thought I'd spread the fun. So let's see. 

Which these 9 office worker types are you?

*** The Glider spreads their toast smoothly and evenly without a care in the world. At work, Gliders are calm, reliable, and unfazed by chaos. Deadlines don’t ruffle them. They’re the team member who coolly says “we’ve got this” when everyone else is spiralling out of control

*** The Double-Sider goes all-in, spreading BOTH sides of the toast. At work, they’re the mavericks who suggest using TikTok or Dimstagram to market the quarterly report — and it works

*** The Total Coverage Specialist ("TCS") is meticulous with their toast, ensuring every millimetre (even every crumb!) is covered with a dairy delight. In the office, they’re the planners who never miss a meeting or forget to cc the boss. Need a perfectly formatted PowerPoint? Look no further than the TCS

*** The Curler uses a special gadget to shape their spread into perfect swirls. At work, they’re the ones with the most creative solutions. They’re the office’s “how did they even think of that?” person

*** The Clumper slaps on the spread without a second thought, leaving lumps and bumps all over their toast. At work, Clumpers are the big-idea people, charging into projects with enthusiasm but also skipping a few steps. But clumpers' charm and creativity makes up for their messy ways

*** The Do-You-Want-Toast-With-Your-Spread loads their toast with so much butter it’s practically dessert. These are the generous office optimists, bringing in unprompted donuts, over-ordering on team lunches and boosting team morale (and sugar levels)

*** The Crust-Avoider carefully avoids the edges of the toast, keeping things neat and tidy. In the office, they’re the perfectionists who triple-check their work and thrive on structure. They’re great at admin but they might lose their cool if someone disrupts their bespoke filing system

*** The Tear-and-Spreader haphazardly rips the toast into pieces, spreading each chunk individually. These are the methodical problem-solvers in the office, known for breaking complex projects into bite-sized tasks. They’re outgoing, collaborative, and great at building agreement

*** The Barely-There Minimalist spreads just a whisper of butter for a light touch. In the office, the Barely There Minimalists are the efficient colleagues who finish tasks in record time and always seem to have nothing to do

Shall I tell you who else is Barely There?

The person who put all this nonsense together. 

Whatever next? A test which tells you your dream job by examining how you boil your eggs? 

(Cracking Your Career Code?)

On a more serious note:

I can’t help think that any personality test has a fundamental flaw (and not just personality tests about toast).

See, personalities are like shields we wear without realising.

And while I love finding out more about my shield as much as the next man or woman, any personality test which re-enforces the idea that the shield is actually who I am isn't all that helpful. 

Because I'm not my shield. I'm not my quirks, my labels, my tendencies and my traits.

I'm the Tom that lies underneath all that.  

As I drop my shield and get to know that Tom, the need to prove, defend or perform starts to fall away. 

Instead, I can just be me. And life becomes lighter and freer as a result.

So I say: 

Ignore your toasty type!

If and when you're ready to get know the REAL you, here's where to go:

https://waitinglist.followingfulfilment.com