For much of my 20s, it looked like things were going great.

But how things looked and how they felt were very different.

Despite good exam results, decent university, solid job, nice holidays and fancy meals around London & the rest of the world, I never felt like I could relax and breathe out.

i.e. I never felt content or fulfilled.

And I always wondered:

Why not? Why did my life look good on paper but feel so different in reality? 

After studying with the American supercoach Michael Neill in 2023 and going deep into the world of psychology and transformation over the last 24 months, I think I’ve figured out the answer.

Here’s my theory in one line:

The most fulfilled people don’t follow the rules of living. They follow the rules of life.

The difference?

The rules of living are the guidelines we live our lives by.

Whereas the rules of life are simply how life works.

And if I had to summarise why some people tick all the tried & tested boxes yet still feel like something is missing in their lives and why others live lives of abundance, peace, fulfilment & joy regardless of how few or how many boxes they’ve ticked, this distinction between the rules of living and rules of life would be at the heart of it.

You could say fulfilled people know that life is a game of chess and play the game this way. They’re using the rules of life to play the game of life.

Compare this to people who sit at the chessboard of life and use the rules of chequers instead. No wonder this leads to making the wrong moves, getting stuck in the mud and a bunch of stress & frustration.

Thing is, it’s not like anyone uses the wrong rules on purpose.

In fact, when parents, friends, teachers, colleagues, the media and society at large tell us that the rules of living are the “right” rules to follow or the rules we “should” be following, using the wrong rules is almost inevitable.

So we start to follow the micro rules of living (like social norms)…

And the macro rules of living (like finding a good job, working hard and settling down)…

And the meta rules of living (“why aren’t you doing what everyone else is doing?” or “make sure you follow the rules!”)

These rules will work for some, but not for everyone.

The rules of life, on the other hand, are universal. They’re rules which were true in the past, are true today, and will be just as true in the future.

They’re a lot harder to find, mind you. And they’re buried beneath the overbearing squawking of those who tell you to follow the rules of living instead.

But it pays to have a look.

It pays to get clear on the micro rules of life (like what’s really in your control and what’s not)…

The macro rules of life (like who you are and where your experience of life comes from)…

And the meta rules of life (like realising that the rules of life exist and they can be trusted).

This way, you’re not unknowingly going along with what everyone else is doing, what’s expected of you or simply doing the done thing.

Instead, if you decide to take a job offer, work hard, settle down or make any other decision, you’re doing it because it’s the right thing for you.

The Father of Motivation Wayne Dyer once said "peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be"

I agree. This is the shift that changes everything.

If you want to start playing by your own rules:

https://waitinglist.followingfulfilment.com