I’ve just flicked to an iPhone note I wrote on 29^th December 2019. 

The note is a no-nonsense list of goals, objectives and to-do’s I set myself for 2020:

(copy and pasted verbatim)

*** 2 gym sessions a week

*** 3 HIIT sessions a week

*** 1 yoga session a week

*** Meditate more

*** Journal

*** Read more

*** Study poker and bridge

*** Practice magic

*** No alcohol

I don’t know if you'll read this and think “is that all? “or “I need a lie down!”.

But a year-end list like this was pretty typical for me. It was my way to give myself a kick up the butt to stay motivated and crank out all the things I needed to do to find some purpose and control in the coming year.

Because here’s the thing:

I had a constant feeling that I was drifting, losing my way and out of sync with the world.

That might sound woolly.

But the feeling itself was woolly. It wasn’t something I could easily put my finger on. Especially as no-one else seemed to feel this way. All my friends and colleagues had their shit together while I kept wondering “why is life passing me by?”.

I thought I knew how to solve that feeling though.

I thought wasn’t disciplined enough. That I wasn’t taking life seriously enough.

Hence the list. 

A list I could never stick to and which never worked.

It’s curious looking back on a list like that today with the benefit of The Subtraction Method and my 7 month certification training with American “supercoach” Michael Neill last year.

Quitting my job in banking and then going back to the exact same job two years later was a key turning point too.

The before and after of that job gave me undeniable proof of how satisfying life can be when we stop trying to force things into place. 

Since then, a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

But for the Tom from 5 years ago, it really looked like happiness was a military-style checklist away.

This is why I have a whole lot of love for the earnest, hard-working and exhausted Tom from 2019. He was doing the best he could, based on what looked true to him then.

And if I could travel back five years in my time machine to give myself a message, I’d say this:

***

You’re doing great.

And even if you want to hit the gym, meditate, read a book or stop drinking alcohol, you certainly don’t need to.

You don’t need to do anything to find the peace of mind you’re looking for.

The only thing getting in the way of what you’re seeking is believing there’s somewhere you need to get to.

But there’s not. You’re already here.

***

The Tom from 5 years ago would’ve heard that and had no clue what it meant.

But maybe – just maybe – those words would’ve cracked open a door he didn’t even know was there.

As it happens, this is the same door I help coaching clients find and step through.

If you feel like you’re chasing something out of reach and the harder you chase, the more out of reach it seems to be, I can help you find your way to a happier, more satisfying way of living.

More details here:

https://waitinglist.followingfulfilment.com