Reader James Carran fires things up:

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Hey Tom,

The way you felt about your banking career is similar to how I felt about my teaching career.

It's fantastically tempting to blame "working conditions" or "bad parents" or whatever else for this, but as you say: it all comes back to me in the end.

Trouble is, when you realise it's all within my power there's a responsibility to moan less and change more! lol

And who needs that cross to bear, right? ;)

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My take on this:

It was a total “holy shit” moment when I saw how I’d been creating my experience of my working life.

It really looked like my work, my workload, my hours, my boss, my colleagues, my inbox, my meetings, the tech, the bureaucracy and the deadlines were all to blame for how stressed, fed up and exhausted I’d become.

I could go on with that list by the way.

For instance:

There was one particularly hot summer where the office felt like a furnace and, right on cue, the air conditioning broke down.

I think it was 2018.

Each afternoon, I'd sit at my desk as the sweat marks left my armpits and spread across my shirt. It was like I’d taken part in the world’s least glamorous wet T-shirt competition.

The daily Magnum ice-cream deliveries weren’t doing much to help matters either.

For those few days I was cursing, swearing and sweating as the tropical temperatures in the office slow-cooked me at my desk.

But I look back now and wonder how I didn’t spot it.

How could I really blame the air conditioning system for my own irritation?

At the time it seemed like a few blocks of metal and a bunch of fans, filters & motors were the cause of my meltdown.

But blaming an air con unit for my stress is like blaming a sofa for my laziness, blaming a dumbbell for why I hate working out or blaming a mirror for how I feel about myself.

Easy targets? 

Yes

Ultimately to blame?

No.

Of course, the air con will impact my temperature. I’m not saying it won’t.

But my experience of my temperature is up to me.

That’s the key point.

And my experience of every aspect of my working life is up to me too.

When I finally saw that my stress, pressure and worry were in my hands, a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. I had options, choices and freedom where I didn’t have them before.

The best part of all?

Understanding the truth of this was all it took. There were no goals to set, routines to follow, habits to form or re-frames to master. 

Instead, the understanding itself was the turning point.

Which brings me to this:

Tomorrow, at 7pm UK Time, I’m hosting a workshop called How to Change Your Career without Changing Your Career

The workshop will explore the question “how can we reignite our motivation and find fulfilment at work without changing our careers?”

During the workshop, we’ll look at the idea that our experience of our jobs has very little to do with the jobs themselves and everything to do with how we see, approach and think about our jobs.

If you’re ready to enjoy your job more than you are today, you can grab your free spot using this Google Form

I'm looking forward to this one. See you on the inside.

p.s. I’ve been invited to run this workshop by the Career Pivot arm of London’s Social Wellness Club.

The SWC is a merry band of men & women who come together to support and inspire each other to be their best selves.

I’m opening up the workshop to readers of this newsletter too (the bigger the crowd, the better the chat).

But don’t be surprised if you see some SWC branding when you click the link…