My email on Friday set some tongues wagging.

If you missed the email, my main point was this:

Our worries are just like my left nipple – redundant and surplus to requirements.

(check out the email if that sounds wacky)

To which daily email subscriber Jim Roberts chimed in:

Nicely framed, have often thought worry is a waste of time, cheers Tom. Easier to state than apply though!

Another reader, Dr Giles Croft, emailed back with a pointy question:

WTF did your right nipple do, to be so comprehensively ignored like this?!?!

And a third reader Sophie (last name withheld by request) had more to say:

Hi Tom. You’re wrong :D Worry does serve purpose, it’s an old ‘instinct’ or whatever we should call it, that helps us stay alive, something like that. It’s the unnecessary worry (or excessive) that serves no purpose.

I’m glad Sophie wrote in, especially as she’s got a different take on things.

(keeps me on my toes!)

But you might be surprised to hear…

I agree.

I agree that our instincts help keep us alive.

The bit I disagree with? 

That instinct isn’t worry. 

Worry is a low-level, repetitive mental activity. It’s us trying to think our way out of something that hasn’t happened yet.

The instinct Sophie mentions is a high-intensity, felt response to an immediate danger (a response that can absolutely keep us alive).

So if the former is “What if I run into a bear while hiking?”, the latter is “There’s a bear 20 feet in front of me, staring me straight in the eye”.

The trick, from what I’ve seen, is noticing that 99% of the time there’s no immediate danger – just imaginary danger.

Thus we’re in the realm of worry.

And thus we’re in the realm of redundancy (just like my right nipple – you can sleep easy now Giles!)

I know some of you might be thinking “But Tom! If I worried MORE about bumping into a bear while hiking, I’d reduce the chances of bumping into a bear. Or at least I’d be better prepared if I did”.

But now we’re back to the points I made in Friday’s email.

And I don’t want to flog a dead grizzly.

On a related note:

For most of my life, my worry was a bit like an overprotective bodyguard.

Always on duty, always scanning for threats.

But I’ve found a few ways to turn that overprotective bodyguard into a chilled out gatekeeper.

i.e. calmer, clearer but still ready for whatever life has in store.

If you’d like to find out what life is like without the constant hum of unnecessary worry, let’s chat about how we could work together.

Here’s where to go next:

https://waitinglist.followingfulfilment.com