Imagine this:

You’re at the racetrack one afternoon enjoying a flutter with some friends.

You place a small wager on each race but lady luck isn’t on your side. As the racing finishes up, you’ve lost a wad of cash.

You glance over at the bar. There’s a guy surrounded by a big group of people, huge smile on his face, bottle of champagne in hand, pouring everyone a glass.

This chap has obviously had a good day.

You listen to his conversation. Turns out he picked the winner on every single race.

You’re so impressed that you hurry over and ask him how he did it.

And he tells you!

He rattles off exactly what numbers he bet on.

Now let me ask you this:

Will you go back to the racecourse next week and bet these same numbers? After all, this guy has just handed you his winning formula on a silver platter.

Or has he?

Clearly betting these numbers next week would be a goofy thing to do.

Yet when it comes to living life, people follow advice like this like a sheep follows a shepherd. They look at their neighbour with a big house and a Jeep, or their old boss who snuck on some random "40 to watch under 40" list, or their mate who got rich in crypto. And then they try to carve out a career in the same way, or manage their finances the same way, or even try to find happiness in the same way as whoever has blazed their own trail before them.

It’s an approach to life which is no different to copying the winners from last week’s race.

You might say this analogy falls short.

But I say this analogy doesn’t go far enough.

Betting on horses is one thing. You put your money down, stand back and see what happens. 

Sure, you can do some research on the horses. But ultimately you're a spectator, not a participant.

The game of life is different.  

Life is a contact sport.

In life, you can influence & experiment. You can make decisions. You can bring your unique talents, skills, preferences and desires to the table. And you can forge a path that's as original as you are. 

So why would blindly heeding the advice of someone who is not you, is not in your situation, made their moves back then (not now) and has a completely different set of talents, skills, preferences and desires ever get you where you want to go?

I can’t see how it would.

Life isn’t like building a bed from Ikea or baking chocolate brownies. There’s certainly no instruction manual or recipe to follow.

Nor is there a “right way” to live your life, even if other people say there is. 

The way I see it, using other people as a recipe book for your life will inevitably lead to a life where it feels like something’s missing. 

Hence the quote from the British author and psychologist Robert Holden: 

If you think something is missing in your life, its probably you 

I know some might find this jarring.

But I’m trying to point out what I’ve learnt (the hard way, taking grenades in the trenches, blindly doing the done thing and wondering why life felt so unfulfilling) so others don’t make the same mistakes.

It’s 100% possible to live a life true to yourself, not scripted by someone else. 

This is where life gets exciting, this is where fulfilment can be found and this is how we thrive. 

If you’d like to get started:

https://waitinglist.followingfulfilment.com