The book that’s been the biggest paradigm shifter in my life over the last 10 years?
Paul Millerd’s The Pathless Path.
Reading the book was like having my internal monologue ghostwritten
by someone more articulate than me. Someone who knew exactly how I was feeling even though I didn’t have the words to describe it.
I knew I had doubts about the 9 to 5.
But I hadn’t been able to put my finger on what and
why. Nor had I seen quite how big the gap was between the life I dreamt of and the life I was living.
The Pathless Path help me put the meat on this restless bone of mine.
As well as reading Paul’s books, I’m an
occasional contributor to Paul’s community. I also wrote a guest post for Paul’s newsletter last year about going back to the 9 to 5.
So Paul has been a cheerleader every step of my way, even though he might not know it.
Which is why I’m so delighted that Paul said “Yes!” when I asked him if I could interview him for this newsletter.
If you’re interested in the world of work, carving out your own path in life or living with more freedom, I think you’re going to love this.
Take it away Paul:
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Tom: Could you tell us who you are and what sparked you to pursue a non-traditional path in work and life?
Paul: I’ve always tried to find the “third door.” I like to run experiments in my life to see what's possible. In undergrad, it seemed interesting to see if I could still get A’s while skipping as many classes as possible. I probably pushed this too far in my freshman Chemistry class, ending up with a B+ but I liked knowing what was possible.
In one of my first jobs, I had two weeks of vacation. But there were at least three weeks of things I wanted to do So I told my manager I was taking unpaid leave for the third week. I think they just let me take extra days. Do enough of these experiments and you start to see that a lot of life is a lot more flexible than people think. Quitting and doing my own thing has only given me more
space to experiment. It was actually surprising that others saw it as a huge leap while to me, it just felt like the next logical step in my life.
Tom: When I read The Pathless Path, it felt like you were speaking directly to me. A friend who read the book said they felt like they helped write it! Why do you think the book resonates so
deeply with readers?
Paul: After I quit my job, I became fascinated with how people perceived my shift in employment. Like I was saying above, I didn’t see it as that crazy of a shift. So I started talking to people about this. I found that many people have thoughts about work that they are terrified to share with people. We have these scripts in our heads
about what we think we are supposed to think and we develop all these defenses to noticing different ways of fitting work into our lives.
From there I spent above 3-4 years obsessed with having real conversations about work and I think what came through in The Pathless Path is the clearest articulation of what many people actually think about work but either
have a hard time expressing or are scared to voice at all.
Tom: What advice do you have for anyone who feels trapped, drained or suffocated by their job?
Create space. I’ve met many people absolutely crushed by their
current situation at work. This is a really hard spot to be in because usually, this means you have no energy left to do anything else, let alone imagine interesting and positive possibilities for your life.
So if possible, try to take a break. Cut back on hours. Ask for a sabbatical. Travel somewhere that gets you out of your default context.
Then simply ask, “What’s next?”
I think too many people try to completely solve work situations in the sense that they only want to leave a bad situation to a perfect one. The reality is that most work transitions take years.
Step-by-step.
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Okay.
Time to pause on these nuggets of pathless wisdom.
Part 2 follows on tomorrow.