For over a decade I made one hell of an almighty mistake at work.

That mistake?

Muddling up the score with the music.

That might sound rather cryptic. So let me explain with a couple of examples.

I always placed a lot of importance on my salary. And whenever my salary went up, I saw it as a sign that I was heading in the right direction, that my career was on track and that I was making progress.

So I started measuring how my life was going by how my salary was going.

Another example?

The hours I worked.

No-one could beat me at this. Whether it was working in the office until 1am and switching off the lights as I left, leaving a team dinner to go back to my desk or “working” over the weekend by ruminating about my to-do list, I was top of the class when it came to clocking in the hours.

After a while, the long hours became a badge of honour and proof (to me, at least) I was doing something worthwhile.

One more example:

The feedback I got at work.

This actually WAS a score. Every 6 months, I’d sit down with my boss and we’d chat about the last 6 months, how things had gone, what I’d done well and what I’d done less well. Then my boss would give me a score which got recorded in an HR system.

I used to think this score was really important. That it meant something about me and my own worth.

What I see now is that I’d well and truly muddled up the scores with the music.

But the scores are absolutely not the music.

Yes, metrics like salary or feedback can reflect progress. But they only reflect progress in the areas they measure.

That’s the key point.

You can hit all the top scores for a whole bunch of metrics yet still find yourself feeling off-track or out of sync.

That’s not a sign that things are heading in the right direction. Not when it comes to your life.

Life isn’t lived through numbers on a page. 

It’s lived through the music instead.

That music is how we feel when we wake up on a Monday morning. It’s leaning into curiosity rather than pressure. It’s how we approach a challenging conversation. It’s trusting we know when we’re done for the day. It’s how connected we are with our kids after we’ve clocked off from work. And it’s knowing deep down you’re being true to yourself, even if other people don’t get what you’re up to.

It’s certainly not a bunch of numbers on a screen which tell you nothing about how fulfilled you feel, how meaningful your work is or how happy, healthy or energised you are.

That’s how it looks to me anyway. 

I wish someone had shown me how to listen for the music sooner.

It took me years to untangle myself from my metrics obsession.

That’s why I’m putting together a new small group to help people tune back into what matters most and stop chasing the stuff that comes at the cost of their family, interests or peace of mind.

I wrote more about this yesterday.

The group is made for you if you'd like to keep your bearings at work, enjoy your job without that job taking over and create space for the kind of life that actually feels like yours.

If you’re interested, please hit reply and let me know.

I’m going to keep this group small. So while raising your hand doesn’t commit you to anything, it does mean I can keep you in the loop. It also means you can help shape the content so the group is as tailored to you as possible.

If this sounds like music to your ears, I look forward to hearing from you.