Last Wednesday, I pitched up to a team offsite at work to run a mindset & clarity session about how to be more on the front foot, figure out what really matters and prioritise the right tasks.

A few days before the session, the colleague who invited me dropped me a DM:

“Will you send over some slides?”

Anyone who’s dipped their toe into the corporate pond knows that meetings and slide decks go together like Gordon's Gin goes with Fevertree Tonic.

But not for my mindset sessions. 

Not on my watch!

What I’m finding is that the less I pre-load these sessions and the more space there is to explore, the better the sessions go.

Wednesday was a great example of this. We took all sorts of twists and turns.

At one point, someone talked about how frustrated he gets with his colleagues. So we chatted about that for a few minutes.

That led to another colleague talking about how she wished she could be more present with her kids when she gets home from work. She said when she’s with her kids in person, she’s still at work in her head and she feels torn between staying on top of things at work and trying to be a good mum. So we talked about that for a few minutes too.

Then another colleague asked me how my approach to work had changed after spending two years out of corporate and seven months studying with American “supercoach” Michael Neill.

This is a question I’m getting asked more and more.

But instead of giving a rehearsed reply, I let the moment guide my answer. 

Judging by the head nods, that answer seemed to land. 

Thing is, I doubt any of these mini explorations would’ve taken place if I was still rattling through a bunch of Powerpoint slides. Yet these explorations are what brought the session alive.

As if to prove the point, the next day a Managing Director slid into my DMs (an MD DM!) to say this:

***

Hi Tom

Word spreading fast about your words of wisdom on mental health

I heard brilliant things about the session you did yesterday

Wondering if you could come and chat to my senior leadership team?

***

The takeaway from all this should be clear:

There is one hell of a huge, almighty, unspoken rule in corporate which says you always need to have all the answers ready. And woe betide anyone who doesn’t.

But when it comes to connecting with people, having all the answers ready is literally the worst thing you can do.

Presence, curiosity and a bit of breathing room is what really counts.

I’m not just talking about mindset sessions now. I’m talking about every single aspect of work and life.

Think about your last client meeting where you prepped every possible objection. Were you actually listening to what your client was worried about? 

Think about the time you got frustrated with a colleague. Were you trying to prove your ready-made point and make your colleague see your point of view?

Think about your kids. Do they need a polished, pre-planned parent? Or do they just need you?

I’m not saying any of this is easy. There’s serious pressure to prove we have all the answers and I feel it myself too.

But I also know you can't prep for the things that matter most. And more often than not, that helps me drop my need to plan and find my natural response instead.

If you’d like to ditch your script and listen to yourself more, you might like this:

https://waitinglist.followingfulfilment.com