I’ve noticed an interesting shift over the last couple of years.

Maybe it’s because I’m half a year away from the big “4 – 0” and my salt & pepper beard is looking a lot more salt than pepper these days.

It might be because the stork made a special delivery six months ago to the drawbridge outside Fort Grundy.

Maybe I’ve simply got more perspective.

But whatever the reason, I’ve found myself spending much less time looking into the future focussing on the next big goal, the next thing that needs fixing or the next part of my life that could be improved.

This is something Dan Sullivan and Dr Benjamin Hardy talk about in their book The Gap and The Gain.

The basic idea is that rather than measure success by how far you are from your ideal (i.e. The Gap), you measure it by how far you’ve come (The Gain).

I like this idea.

I think it’s worth taking a few moments every now and then to look back over your shoulder, take stock and give yourself a pat on the back.

For instance, this newsletter has been ticking along now for over three years. And while I could easily get tunnel vision for snagging new readers, launching my new coaching program and releasing my new product on overthinking (i.e. how to do it less), I don’t want to lose sight of the fact that three years ago I didn’t even have a newsletter. Nor did I have any idea about how to write a chirpy daily email that subscribers actually look forward to reading.

So there’s that.

But in fact, even though Sullivan and Hardy share my soft spot for gently steering attention away from the next big goal, that’s NOT the shift I’m talking about.

The shift I’m talking about is something else entirely.

Forget The Gap and forget The Gain.

My suggestion is to look towards The Given instead.

That might sound cryptic, but it’s really not. It’s simply an invitation to sit up and smell the posies right now, in this very moment.

Case in point:

Lauren and I have a dream of living in a big house, somewhere leafy and green, with a stream trickling past in the back garden. I’d have my office-cum-library-cum-daily email laboratory, Lauren would have her arts, crafts & music room, Baby Grundy would have her nursery and there’d be lots of space for friends, family and maybe even a pooch or two.

The idea brings a big smile to my face.

But truth be told, Fort Grundy really is just the ticket. The walls are holding strong and the moat is holding steady.

And I wouldn’t want the honking great dream of upgrading Fort Grundy to drown out the magic right under my nose. That would be a real shame.

This pattern rears its ugly head at work as well.

The way I see it, corporate life is chock-full of employees treating their jobs as a waiting room for what’s just around the corner (another promotion, another job title, another pay rise or even wishing away the work week which makes up 5/7’s of their actual life). 

Some people might read this email and think I’m pedalling a passive, unmotivated, airy-fairy sort of attitude.

But nothing could be further from the truth.

Being present doesn’t mean standing still. And there’s no better fuel for living the sort of life you want to live than basking and frolicking in The Given.

The Given is the place where your real dreams come from, as opposed to always striving for the next shiny object or straining to catch up with your colleagues.

When you stop chasing from a place of “what’s missing?” and start creating from a place of “I’ve got enough already”, life will start to take you in wonderful and unexpected directions. 

If this shift resonates, you can read more about my coaching here:

https://waitinglist.followingfulfilment.com

If you're intrigued or curious, hit reply, drop me a line and we can have a chat to see if my coaching is a fit for you.