On the 16^th January, I sent out an email with the subject line:

17 life lessons for Lauren’s bun in the oven

Now that bun in the oven is fully baked and is blossoming into a cheeky little crumpet, I took another peek at the advice I’d written 6 months ago.

Life lesson number 9 caught my eye:

Listen less to other people and more to yourself

My feelings about this crumb of wisdom have only grown stronger.

In fact, I’d go so far to say that listening to yourself is essential when it comes to finding your path through life.

But I’ve only started doing it recently myself.

At school and uni, I hung on the words of my friends and teachers. In my 20’s, I’d blindly listen to my colleagues and the drip-feed of corporate thinking on how life should be lived and how work should be worked. Then in my 30’s, it was podcasts, self-help books and so-called “experts” on topics like health, business, relationships and careers.

So I was listening to everyone but myself.

At the end of part 1 of my banking career, I stuck two fingers up to the corporate world and deliberately zigged wherever it zagged. 

I thought this was me finally listening to myself and taking back control.

What I’d missed is that doing the opposite of what the suits were telling me to do isn’t listening to myself at all. It’s still letting an external voice call the shots.

It’s a whole other game to drop all outside voices and let yourself be guided by yourself.

But to my mind, this is the game you want to be playing.

Life opens up when you’re not trying to win a game you never wanted to play in the first place. Things start to click into place with a lightness, joy and ease. And best of all, you’re living life as yourself and not someone else’s idea of you.

Of course, none of this precludes listening to a podcast, reading a book or taking onboard your friends’ words of wisdom. It’s just that your inner guide is the filter.

That’s why, more than ever, I want Baby Grundy to live her life.

And I want her to know that following her inner guide (which we all have – this isn’t unique to Baby Grundy) is the way to do this.

Yes, I see the irony in telling her to listen more to herself.

But that’s an irony I can live with.

In fact, no less than “The Father of Motivation” Wayne Dyer pulled the same move when he wrote:

***

There is a fundamental axiom that both my wife and I practiced in the raising of our children and it is this:

Parents are not for leaning upon, but rather exist to make leaning unnecessary

***

So that’s that.

One newsletter I’ve been guided towards recently in my new-ish role as Daddy Crumpet is Rashi Kakkar’s Decks and Diapers.

In Rashi’s own words:

I am an ambitious professional who also happens to be a parent. Join me as I decode and navigate the world of careers and caregiving, simultaneously. We will talk about work, life and the intersection of the two!

If you’re juggling parenthood with a professional career and something in you lights up at the sound of Decks and Diapers, I can’t recommend this newsletter enough.

Here’s the link if you’d like to sign up:

https://decksanddiapers.substack.com