Let me tell you about the Burnout-Avoider.
Burnout-Avoiders are in ultimate self-preservation mode. They’ve been through the wringer before and decided “never again”. So they’re quick to smell anything which has the faintest whiff of hustle, grind, stress or strain about it. They stick to the activities that feel safe and, unlike
most folk, they’re good at saying no to things. Doesn’t mean Burnout-Avoiders are lazy or checked out though. Actually, they’re usually smart and hard working. It just means they rarely feel overwhelmed or under pressure in their day to day lives because they never stretch themselves that far. Equally, they rarely feel lit up any more. Whenever something exciting does pop up, they talk themselves out of it. So their life has become comfortable, predictable and maybe even dull.
Nothing good or bad about being a Burnout-Avoider by the way.
If anything, it’s inevitable. At some point, anyone who’s been burned enough will decide to take their feet out of the fire.
That’s just common sense.
There’s lots of advantages too. For instance, Burnout-Avoiders are calm. They sleep well, their nervous system is more regulated and they don’t carry their worries round in their heads.
So there’s very little downside to being a Burnout-Avoider.
The only problem?
The constant state of urgency and fear might’ve
gone, but something else has gone too:
A hunger for life.
I say this as someone who’s experienced the full cycle myself.
Burning out was such a violent shock to my system and had such an impact on my ideas about what I could handle that when I finally came through the other side of it, keeping everything small and safe looked like a really good idea.
Hence lots of time in Casa Grundy with my feet up watching Countdown, strolls by the
canal, reading books, playing chess, turning down invites to the pub and generally living a very gentle existence.
It was quite lovely too.
But it meant when Lauren and I started to conflab about trying for a baby, even
just the thought of the sleepless nights, constant crying and never-ending chaos felt like a hell of a lot.
Of course, the stork plonked Baby Grundy on our doormat almost a year ago.
That’s because at some point it
clicked in my once-too weary brain that if I wanted to actually LIVE my life rather than shrink it to the size of a pea, it was time to venture back into the big, bad world. That meant opening myself up to a bit of discomfort and risk on the one hand, but also to more excitement and joy on the other. Not just with babies, but with everything else too.
All of
which is to say:
Burnout-Avoiders might decide to stay in their bubble and that’s all gravy if they do.
But there’s another option available.
If they want to, Burnout-Avoiders can slowly dip their toe back in the water and discover that wanting more doesn’t mean they need to burnout all over again.
In my experience, this means approaching life with a "nothing to prove" attitude, more tolerance for risk (not less) and a much clearer
sense of when to hit play and when to hit pause. And this is when the real fun begins.
So yes. Even burnout can be a gift.
If you have a bit of the Burnout-Avoider about you and you’re ready to reclaim your hunger
for life like I did, I can show you how.
Here’s where to go next if so:
https://waitinglist.followingfulfilment.com
To fulfilment,
Tom