When I run a Mindset & Clarity session for a new team at work, I always start the session the same way.

Namely, I introduce myself to the room as Tom from the Real Estate team. Then I go on to explain that, while I might be Tom from Real Estate for 95% of the time I clock in at the mothership, for the other 5% I wear a very different hat. 

And when I wear that hat, I share what I’ve seen about topics like burnout, stress, resilience and work/life balance and lead groups on these topics too.

Kicking off a session this way sets the scene nicely.

After all, I might be a bit surprised if a banker from our Oil & Gas team led a one hour session on advanced Excel wizardry. It would seem like a mismatch until he explained he had some serious Excel credentials up his sleeve.

So it’s helpful for my colleagues to know what hat I’m wearing.

It’s helpful for me to know what hat I’m wearing too.

In fact, given how many hats we wear each day, it’s ALWAYS helpful to know what hat we’re wearing.

I'm sure it would raise an eyebrow if I sent my boss an email with my “Newsletter Hat” on. Equally, I doubt Lozzadog Lauren would thank me if I donned my “Banker Hat” over our scrambled eggs, adopted my professional, analytical, A-type voice and started strategising how we could optimise the family Gantt chart.

I don’t always get the hat right of course. I’m human like everyone else.

But these hats are something I’m becoming more and more aware of.

Especially given my newest, shiniest hat:

My Parent Hat.

Wearing a brand spanking new hat like this means I'm still trying the hat at different angles, noticing when it falls over my eyes, getting a feel for how it fits and, wherever I can, actively avoiding my Banker, Newsletter, Coach, Friend or Partner Hats, even though these hats are comfy and familiar.

Yes, hats can be dropped in the same way they can be donned.

A good example of this is another type of hat which is more subtle and might not even look like a hat in the first place.

That hat?

You could call it our identity.

It’s all the stories we tell ourselves about what we're not made for or will never be good at.

And there’s no difference between wearing a Banker Hat, Parent Hat or Coach Hat and wearing an Identity Hat.

I’m sure people will disagree with this and that’s fine.

But the more I see my identity as a hat I can take on or off rather than something which is fixed, the more life seems to open up. 

It’s not that *I* was anxious and stressed in v1 of my banking career, for instance. I’d just got really used to wearing those hats.

Same thing with public speaking. This was always a “I’m not that kind of person” thing, but once I dropped that hat and put on my public speaking hat, I found my rhythm there too.

This isn't me saying there’s not a learning curve.

There often is.

I’m just saying that if there’s something in your life you'd like to approach differently, it’s your hat that needs changing, not you.

One more thing before I go:

Last week I wrote about how I’m gearing up to launch a new coaching program.

I’m not ready to share the program’s name, format or cost just yet.

But this email about hats (of all things!) made me realise something.

You could think of this new program as a way to find a hat that feels deeply you. A hat which is so authentic, so fulfilling and so unmistakably joyfully yours that your least favourite hats will start slipping off all by themselves and in their place you’ll be wearing the comfiest, loveliest hat you’ve ever worn.

I know that might sound cryptic.

But if you feel this program might be a good fit, keep an eye on these emails.

More info on the way soon.

To fulfilment,

Tom