I’m reading a fascinating book called The Second Mountain by Canadian-American author David Brooks.
The book has certainly shone a light on why my corporate banking job left me feeling so
flat for so long.
In a nutshell:
After working my socks off for 13+ years and achieving a fair smattering of success (I climbed the greasy corporate ladder from graduate, to associate, to associate director, then director,
becoming the “go to” guy between two of the bank’s biggest divisions), it dawned on me that what I’d been killing myself for wasn’t just infinite and all-consuming but would never, ever fulfil me.
This is what David Brooks calls The First Mountain.
And the book is all about the shift away from climbing The First Mountain (i.e. the never-ending quest for achievement) towards The Second Mountain instead.
Almost everyone I know who’s worked an office job has either experienced this wake-up call themselves or has seen others wake up and catch a whiff of the corporate
manure.
Personally, it required me to take a long, cold, hard look in the mirror.
I had to get really clear on the fact that yes, having “Director” in my email signature made me feel smug and yes, I loved eating in
London’s top restaurants every week and yes, flying Business Class to New York and Buenos Aires was a whole lot of fun.
But also being totally honest about the fact that my life felt hollow and lonely.
Everything I’d been
shooting for since studying my socks off at school, getting a spot at a top uni, choosing a degree which would lead to a good job, then snagging that job (i.e. doggedly climbing The First Mountain) was leading to a life I didn’t want to live.
When I realised this, it felt brutal.
If anything, I’d always turned my nose up at people who weren’t studying hard at school or who weren’t working 12 hour days like I was.
Why on earth weren’t they working harder? Why weren’t they shooting for the next rung on the ladder?
After studying the deeper mechanics of life with American “supercoach” Michael Neill, I began to see that those people were onto something I'd completely overlooked.
They were climbing The Second Mountain while I was still toiling up The First
Mountain.
Some of them had even made it to the top of The Second Mountain and were now basking in the view.
Of course, the First Mountain looks incredibly tempting.
There’s the promise of prizes and success.
There’s also a huge amount of peer pressure to “keep up with the Joneses” in the corporate world and go after the same pay rises, promotions and snazzy job titles as everyone else. And it’s much safer to jump on the corporate
bandwagon than do your own thing.
But it pays to look closer at whether the First Mountain even works.
I'm convinced the reason most people climb the First Mountain and work so hard in their corporate jobs is so one day in
the future, many moons from now, they can put their feet up and relax, safe in the knowledge that they’ve earnt the right to rest and that life can finally begin.
That was me too.
It took me 20 years to see that living
life this way has got things totally back to front.
It’s not qualifications, promotions, pay rises, corner offices and more status & prestige that leads to happiness.
It’s the opposite.
The American singer Margaret Young put it like this a century ago:
“Often people attempt to live their lives backwards. They try to have more things or more money in order to do more of what they want so that they will be
happier.
The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are then do what you need to do in order to have what you want.”
i.e. it’s be, then do, then have.
Being happy COMES FIRST.
Then from that place of happiness, security and contentment, every action you take and whatever you get up to in the world is an expression of that happiness.
I wish I’d known this 20 years ago.
But I had to learn this one the hard way.
The good news is, you
don’t have to learn this the hard way like I did.
If you’ve glimpsed the First Mountain is not all it’s cracked up to be and you’d like to make sense of where to go from here, my new program The Music Inside You will help you to navigate this jump from Mountain One to Mountain Two.
In the program you’ll tune into who you really are FIRST.
Then you’ll sally forth into the world to share your music in every aspect of your life.
I’ll
have a lot more to say about the Second Mountain before Thursday’s deadline for The Music Inside You.
In the meantime, if you’re ready to check out how the program works, here’s the link:
The Music Inside You
To fulfilment,
Tom