I’ve got something embarrassing to admit.

It started a few months ago.

I was strolling through the dusty corridors here at Fort Grundy, trying to find my headphones. But they were nowhere to be seen. They weren’t behind the cannon, I hadn’t dropped them on the creaky stairwells and they weren’t even floating in the moat.

So what did I do?

I ordered a new pair from Amazon.

A week later, same thing. My headphones go missing.

Click on Amazon, add to basket, check out.

A couple of weeks later, same thing all over again.

This time I turned to Lozzadog Lauren (Queen of the Fort) and asked her “your grace, have you hidden my headphones?”

Turns out Lauren was blameless (I kind of knew that already).

So yes, I ordered a new pair and gave Bezos another slug of my hard earnt wonga.

Then a few weeks later the old headphones started showing up!

One pair was in the pocket of a fleece I hadn’t worn for ages. Another was in the pocket of some jeans stuffed in the back of my wardrobe. The third pair was in the pocket of my running shorts (I haven’t been running for months…)

So now I have four pairs of headphones.

A few days ago a thought popped into my head:

These headphones were just like how I treated my life.

I always had a vague sense that something in my life was missing. That a fulfilling life was just out of reach.

I assumed that chasing the next dollop of success would fill that gap. So I started collecting “headphones” by grinding at work for the next shiny job title, pay rise and promotion.

Along the way, I collected quite a few. It always felt great for a day or two.

But then that same sense that fulfilment was missing reared its ugly head all over again.

That’s when I changed strategy. 

Rather than collecting shiny medals to improve my life, I started collecting self-help techniques to improve ME. I tried meditating, mindfulness, journalling, discovering my values and freezing my hiney off every morning in a Wim Hof cold shower. I also gorged myself on self-help classics from leading lights like Dale Carnegie, Jack Canfield and James Altucher.

But nothing helped me shake the feeling that something was still missing.

Over the last three years and having completed more coaching training hours than any sane person would admit to down the pub, I’ve come to see that this “something is missing” feeling is just like those bloody headphones.

It’s not buying more headphones that helps.

It’s seeing that I have what I’m looking for already, tucked away in my pocket.

It’s just a question of looking in the right place. 

In fact, every single one of us has what the late Wayne Dyer called “The Music Inside Us”. This is a joyful, energising and fulfilling space which doesn’t need another promotion, value-setting exercise or ice bath to feel whole. And when we touch it, we realise that we’re already exactly where we want to be and that no amount of hustle, grind and looking for more will ever make it better.

Keep in mind too that the promotions and pay-rises aren’t just another pair of “headphones” that give you some relief until they go missing again.

They actually make things worse.

i.e. by the time you’ve got a few promotions and pay-rises under your belt, you’re WORSE OFF.

Clearly not from a salary perspective. But in relative terms, your life has so much more clutter, stress, responsibility and lifestyle inflation to sort through.

You might’ve even taken out your frustrations on your friends and family along the way. Friends and family who are looking at your life from the outside thinking “wow, so many headphones! So impressive!”. But on the inside, you know you don’t have peace of mind and you know you’re not fulfilled.

The solution to this is to turn away from the outside world, look within and see that you already have everything you’re looking for.

Yes, this is a bit of an inconvenient truth for every corporate go-getter still chasing a finishing line which turns out to be the next starting gate.

But there’s really no point ordering yet another pair of headphones.

My new program The Music Inside You shows you how to step off the treadmill to find what you’ve been chasing without losing an ounce of your edge at work, if that’s something that matters to you.

In fact, the the whole point of the program is to dial up the things that matter to you.

If you’re ready to step away from the constant chase, check this before Thursday’s deadline:

The Music Inside You

To fulfilment, 

Tom