Here’s a question I've been asked a few times when I run my Mindset & Clarity workshops:

What’s shifted with your job Tom? How come you find work so much less stressful than you used to?

It’s a great question and I don’t have a simple answer.

But there’s one slice of the pie that’s undoubtedly true and a huge part of why the angst, gloom & doom I used to feel about my job has all but evaporated, even though my job hasn't changed.

And it’s this:

Work isn’t the first domino in my life any more.

See, work was the “filter” that shaped everything else.

It was the starting point for every decision, the framework for all my priorities, the way I defined my identity and the gatekeeper for what came into my life.

Everything came second to work.

For instance:

Every time I moved flat in London, I chose where to live based wholly on where I worked. 

Two of my old flats were a 30 minute walk into the office. A third flat was bang in the middle of the City of London, a stone’s throw from St Paul's Cathedral and a 2 minute walk to the office. And while it was a neat flat and a convenient place to host the office poker & pizza nights, it was still work that drove where I chose to live.

You might be sat there thinking “but of course you’re going to choose where you live based on where you work!”.

And that’s my point exactly.

That “of course” was so baked-in, so invisible and so unquestioned that it became an automatic given rather than an active choice.

I didn’t choose to live 2 minutes from the gym. I didn’t choose to live 2 minutes from my Mum and Dad. I didn’t choose to live 2 minutes from my favourite pub (probably for the best).

I “chose” to live where it served work best without ever giving it a second thought.

This phenomenon didn’t just rear its ugly head in the physical world.

It reared its ugly head in my mental world too.

Thoughts about work CONSUMED me. They always came first, ahead of every other category of thought.

Case in point: 

A few years ago, I flew to Edinburgh for a weekend of chess, seeing pals and re-visiting my old stomping grounds. 

But all I could think about was work. 

My mind was so overwhelmed with what I needed to do when I was back in the office that there was no headspace left to think about my chess moves, even when I was sitting at the chessboard.

Forget the Queen's Gambit or fianchettoing my bishop. I just couldn’t shake those thoughts about work.

When I went for a pint with an old pal that evening, I couldn’t focus on what he was saying either. My mind was doing merry-go-rounds about the week waiting for me at work.

I’m glad to report that this “work first” mindset has mostly taken a back seat nowadays.

One thing that's helped is having a 9-month-old daughter. There’s a natural focus in my life now which is much more magnetic, soul-stirring and important than work. And I can be present with Baby Grundy when I’m pushing her on the swings instead of rehearsing Monday’s meetings in my head.

But no-one needs to have a baby to loosen the grip work has on their life. That’s like buying a grand piano because you need a paperweight.

Luckily, there’s a simpler way to loosen work's grip on your life.

What I’d recommend instead is finding what “The Father of Motivation” Wayne Dyer called The Music Inside You.

Having a daily newsletter (the music inside ME) gives me such a source of joy, creativity, energy, fulfilment and aliveness that there’s very little space in my head for all things 9 to 5 related unless I’m actually sitting in the office, at my desk, staring at my laptop. 

Even the pull of a new idea for a daily email, product or course is so strong that I have to practically wrestle my mind back to my balance sheets and budgets.

So it’s become a natural way to stress less about work.

It’s also a natural way to re-ignite the energy and joy which never had a chance to shine when work was my first domino. Yes, even though I’m still in my 9 to 5 banking gig and knocking it out the park (my boss told me I’m doing a “brilliant” job the other day, which was nice to hear)

If you’re ready to feel clear, alive and lit up by what really matters to you, my program The Music Inside You will show you how. 

Word to the wise: this program isn't cheap. So if you're interested, I suggest you read the sales page cover to cover.

To see what it's all about:

The Music Inside You

If you'd like to book a Discovery Call with me, best hop to it.

Thursday’s deadline to join the program is just around the corner.

To fulfilment, 

Tom