In September 2008, I joined the merry world of banking as a fresh and hungry graduate.

During my first few days, I was handed all sorts of HR Manuals, Onboarding Decks and Procedures Docs covering everything from IT policies and conduct regulations to how to use the phones and where to find the nearest sandwich shop.

After quitting my job 13 years later, studying with American supercoach Michael Neill and then returning to my old job, I'm more convinced than ever that the advice handed out to new starters is about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

But there ARE a bunch of facts (yes, facts) which should be printed on every company wall, coffee cup and mouse mat up & down the country.

Especially if companies wants happier and more productive employees.

The seasoned cynics might say that companies are more interested in the bottom line than in their people. The realists might say that without the bottom line, there’s no people to look after in the first place.

Either way, there are a few things I wish I’d been told back when I started out. 

Things that would’ve been infinitely more useful than the IT policies and where to find the coffee machine.

It’s also why I’ll be arming Baby Grundy with these facts if she plumps for a desk job when she joins the great employed. 

God only knows what the world of work will look like in 20 years, but that’s beside the point. These corporate facts are as timeless as Kylie Minogue and should be required reading for any intern, graduate, analyst, manager, director, MD or CEO working in a corporate job.

Even more so when it comes to my own flesh and blood.

Okay, enough waffling. 

Let's dive into the real corporate onboarding manual:

*** Being happy at work doesn’t mean you lose your edge or common sense. If anything, it means MORE creativity, MORE productivity, MORE clarity and BETTER performance

*** Your most valuable skill at work isn't technical. It’s also got nothing to do with your knowledge or expertise. Sure, you’ll need that stuff. But what makes the biggest difference to getting shit done at work is learning to navigate your own mind

*** Your best ideas, decisions and solutions come when you STOP trying to figure them out. Not when you strain every sinew trying to crunch every possibility in your already weary brain

*** Your worth has diddly squat to do with your job title, salary, position, output, feedback, quality of your work or how many deals you completed in the last day, week, month or year

*** Comparing yourself to your colleagues is the quickest way to lose your footing. Just because Patsy from Compliance got a patsy on the backsy doesn’t mean you need to chase the same praise or path. You’re not employed to be Patsy. You’re employed to be you

*** Work will always be mayhem. That’s the nature of the corporate beast. Much better to come to terms with it and embrace the bedlam than rage against it like it’s a personal attack

*** A frenzied diary doesn’t mean you need to feel frenzied. A pressurised deadline doesn’t mean you need to feel pressured. An overwhelming inbox doesn’t mean you need to feel overwhelmed. If you want to enjoy your work, learn how to separate the raisins from the rice pudding and spot the difference between reality and the stories your mind adds on top

*** Shit happens, even to the corporate dynamos. So don’t be too hard on yourself. What counts is how you dust yourself off, pick yourself back up and carry on

*** Clarity trumps productivity every day of the week (and twice on Sunday if you’re working weekends too). You can be as hard-working, productive and diligent as you like, but it counts for nothing if you’re focussed on the wrong things (the old "build a beautiful sandcastle 5 feet from the incoming tide" syndrome)

*** Saying “No!” to work is often sensible and even necessary. Committing to stuff you won’t be able to deliver (or delivering it, then collapsing under your desk) isn’t good for you or your employer

*** Don’t forget that your life is taking place as and when you work. If you’re living for your next holiday to France or you’re waiting to turn 65 so you can retire to Bognor Regis, you’re sleep-walking through a huge chunk of your life. The good news is that there’s joy to be found in every moment (yes, even when you’re trapped in a three hour meeting), just so long as you know where to look

Part of the reason I work 1 on 1 with bankers, lawyers and other professionals is because I know just how warped the usual corporate advice is.

It’s almost like the game is set up to make it as hard as possible for employees.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

If you know how, there are oodles of ways to load the dice at work in your favour.

In fact, my new guide How To Work Your Way is packed full of them.

If you’ve been reading my newsletter for a while, you might’ve seen me talk about this guide already.

If you’ve just joined my newsletter, you’ve probably snagged a copy of this guide for yourself.

Whatever the case, I'm on a mission to spread the word to professionals all around the world that work doesn’t have to be stressful & soul-sapping and that it can be surprisingly enjoyable instead.

Not only that, but I’m recruiting a few secret agents to join me on my mission. And I’ve prepared some off-the-record rewards for those who do.

If you’d like to help me spread the word that work can actually be FUN, all you need to do is share the link to my guide with a person or group of people who might like it.

That could mean posting a link on your social media feed or pinging this email to a friend. It could also mean sharing the link in a forum, with a Whatsapp group or even your own newsletter.

Once you’ve done that, forward me a screenshot of your post, email or WhatsApp message.

In return, you can choose one of the following exclusive and off-the-record rewards for free:

*** A 15 minute laser coaching session with me on Zoom.  This session has genuine, real-world value (I charge £1,000+ for a package of 8 one hour sessions).  Laser coaching could be perfect if you want more clarity, you’re facing a tricky decision or you’d like to find more happiness or peace of mind. To be clear – this is not a consulting call. I won’t be doling out advice. Instead, I’ll help you find the answers that are already inside you 

*** I’ll send you a report I’ve created called Easy Breezy Writer. In the report I reveal 5 mindset “hacks” I’ve picked up from 5 of the world’s leading experts on writing. These hacks have changed the way I approach my writing and explain how I’ve written a chirpy daily email almost every weekday for the last four years. If you’re a copywriter, newsletter writer or 9-to-5er who finds writing a grind and you’d prefer not to be outsourcing your writing to ChatGPT, Easy Breezy Writer will help you write with less pressure and more flow

One other thing:

This secret mission will self-destruct at midday UK time on Sunday 5^th April.

Forward me a screenshot of your post or email before then and let me know which off-the-record asset you’d like. 

But if you send me your screenshot after midday UK time on 5^th April, it’s too late. 

That's when the mission is terminated.

Here’s that link once more:

How To Work Your Way

To fulfilment,

Tom