A few months ago, I ran a Mindset & Clarity Workshop at work about how to be more on the front foot, figure out what really matters and prioritise the right tasks.

A few days before the session, the host dropped me a DM:

“Will you send over some slides?”

Anyone who’s dipped their toe into the corporate pond knows that meetings and slide decks go together like Gordon's Gin and Fevertree Tonic.

But not for my Mindset & Clarity Workshops. 

Not on my watch!

What I’ve found is that the less I pre-load these sessions and the more space there is to explore, the better the sessions go.

That Mindset & Clarity Workshop was a great example.

At one point, someone talked about how frustrated he gets with his colleagues. So we chatted about that for a few minutes. 

That led to another colleague talking about how she wished she could be more present with her kids when she gets home from work. She said when she’s with her kids in person, she’s still at work in her head and she feels torn between staying on top of things at work and trying to be a good mum. So we talked about that for a few minutes too. 

Then another colleague asked me how my approach to my job had changed after spending two years out of corporate and seven months studying with the American “supercoach” Michael Neill.

This is a question I’m getting asked more and more.

But instead of giving a rehearsed reply, I let the moment guide my answer. And judging by the head nods, that answer seemed to land. 

Thing is, I doubt any of these mini explorations would’ve taken place if I was still rattling through a bunch of Powerpoint slides. In fact, I'm sure a few of my esteemed banking colleagues would've been snoozing away by slide 27. 

But it was the explorations that brought the session alive.

As if to prove the point, the next day a Managing Director slid into my DMs (an MD DM!) to say this:

***

Hi Tom

Word spreading fast about your words of wisdom on mental health

I heard brilliant things about the session you did yesterday

Wondering if you could come and chat to my senior leadership team?

***

The takeaway from all this should be clear:

There is one hell of a huge, almighty, unspoken rule in corporate which says you always need to have all the answers ready. And woe betide anyone who doesn’t.

But when it comes to connecting with people, having all the answers ready is literally the worst thing you can do.

Presence, curiosity and a bit of breathing room are what really count.

I’m not just talking about mindset sessions now. I’m talking about connecting with people in every single aspect of work and life.

Think about your last client meeting where you prepped every possible objection. Were you actually listening to what your client was worried about? 

Think about the time you got frustrated with a colleague. Were you trying to prove your ready-made point and make your colleague see your point of view?

Think about your kids. Do they need a polished, pre-planned parent? Or do they just need you?

I’m not saying any of this is easy. There’s serious pressure to prove we have all the answers and I feel it myself too.

But I also know you can't prep for the things that matter most. And more often than not, that helps me drop my need to plan and find my natural response instead.

This all brings me to the Reclaim Your Evening workshop I'm running 16 hours from now.

If you're fed up of your job gobbling up your evenings and nothing you've tried has made a blind bit of difference, this is the workshop for you. 

And in case you were wondering...

No, there won't be any slides.

You can find all the details here:

Reclaim Your Evening

To fulfilment,

Tom