I’ve always been one of life’s great optimisers.

I used to spend so much time & energy trying to find the “right” or “best” or “most efficient” way to do something that I missed out on just enjoying doing the darn thing in the first place.

In early 2024, Lauren and I racked up a flurry of mini-breaks to Zurich, Toulouse, Seville and Gdansk. 

Before each weekend, I spent hours looking up the best sights so I could pin them all on Google Maps. The trips turned into games of whack-a-mole, to the point where I was “collecting” restaurants, parks, churches, food markets & museums like Ed Sheeran collects lawsuits. Then I'd get annoyed if we didn’t make it to one of the hotspots on our list.

That's just one example.

I had my health and fitness phase too.

Back in my Edinburgh days I became obsessed with working out, cutting fat and “optimising” my body. I don’t just mean going for a run or lifting some weights. I mean religiously researching protein powders, figuring out how to get my body into ketosis and stepping onto the scales twice a day to see if another lb or two had melted away. I even remember bringing a packet of ham with me to a bar while my pals slurped beers and pizza, all to try to keep my body ticking along like a Swiss watch.

What else?

Well, time management was a big one too. Time was always something I thought I had to maximise, stretch and squeeze for every last drop.

Even when it came to relationships, the question I’d ask myself was “how could this relationship be better?” 

And like most things, if you go looking for it, you’ll find it.

So whenever I asked that question, I always found something that could be better. And whenever I “worked on” my relationships, it took me further away from simply enjoying the other person’s company.

I could go on.

Even as I sit here typing away on this fine Wednesday morning, I can feel a new category of optimising sneaking in:

Parenting.

A few times I’ve caught myself wanting to research the best toys, the optimal sleep schedules and find the perfect child-raising formula for Baby Grundy.

And sure, some things are meant to be optimised. If you’re working on a financial model or your newsletter’s sign-up page, it might make sense to peek under the hood, measure what works and care about getting a better result.

But I’m not talking about financial models and sign-up pages in this email. 

I’m talking about life.

Life isn’t a machine, a maths problem or a research project. Life isn’t meant to be controlled, upgraded, perfected or completed.

Life is meant to be lived.

I’ve always liked the John Lennon quote “life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans”. But I think John could just as easily have said “life is what happens while you’re busy optimising your life”.

And when the great optimisers of the world like Tim Ferriss shave 7 seconds off their paleo breakfasts, buy the perfect pillow for maximum dream efficiency and try to outsource their own heartbeat, I do wonder…

For what end? To free up time to optimise something else?

If so, Tim's doomed to optimise his life forever. 

If anything, this email is as much a reminder to me as it is a chirpy daily missive to you.

It’s a reminder that if I catch myself asking “how can I make this better?”, it’s a clue I might be heading in the wrong direction. A clue that I could benefit from throwing away my clipboard and sitting up to smell the roses instead. 

After all, the people who seem genuinely happy aren't the ones who have optimised everything. They're the ones who've realised they don't need to. 

I thought about popping a link to my coaching here as a way to sign off this email. But then I figured that was trying to optimise an email about not optimising.

Added to which, I'm also interested in hearing what you've been optimising recently which might not seem like such an optimal move any more. 

If you fancy it, hit reply and let me know.

To fulfilment, 

Tom