A couple of days ago, Michelle Obama paid a visit to my old East London stomping ground.

While she was there, she recorded a podcast about work, careers and Gen Zs.

Here’s some of what she had to say:

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That’s what I want young people to understand. That every experience, the bad boss, the boring assistant job, the job where you thought you weren’t appreciated, the one that didn’t give you the assignment you wanted when you wanted it – all of that is learning to be resilient.

I think a lot of young people want to do what they want to do or what they’re good at. But you have got to earn that, carry some bags, have some tough times and have people treat you unfairly

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Oh my goodness, where to start with this.

Look, I get that Michelle Obama is adored by millions. I know she’s many people’s dream pick for a celebrity dinner guest too. 

But this kind of claptrap is unbelievably unhelpful.

Let’s take her comments one by one:

“That’s what I want young people to understand”

What you’re describing here Michelle is YOUR experience. An experience of hardship and struggle which led to you discovering your resilience. And that’s genuinely inspiring. It really is.

But that doesn’t mean everyone else should follow the path you followed.

What about the people who followed their nose and started a business from their bedroom? Or who quit the job they knew deep down was the wrong job for them? Or who refused to carry anyone else’s bags because they trusted themselves enough not to?

There’s no “right” way to live your life.

But it sure sounds like you’re here to give everyone your version of the “right” way.

And when anyone starts handing out instructions for how to live, it robs people of the chance to find their own path and re-enforces the idea that we need someone else to tell us what’s right for us.

But the only person who knows what’s right for us is us.

Next up:

“That every experience, the bad boss, the boring assistant job, the job where you thought you weren’t appreciated, the one that didn’t give you the assignment you wanted when you wanted it – all of that is learning to be resilient”

What I’m about to say might sound subtle but it’s a hugely important distinction:

Yes, people can discover resilience via their experiences.

But resilience isn’t like a muscle which gets built with struggle and strife.

The way I see resilience is more like the sun behind the clouds. So even though we might encounter struggle and strife, we still handle what we need to handle. Not because we’ve built resilience but because our resilience has come to the fore. That’s how it looks to me anyway. Our resilience never goes anywhere because it’s something we already have.

So no-one needs a bad boss to become resilient.

They just need to live their life. And life will inevitably bring moments that show what we’re already made of.

The idea that we need to seek these moments out as a kind of rite of passage is a load of old poppycock. 

Onwards:

“I think a lot of young people want to do what they want to do or what they’re good at. But you have got to earn that, carry some bags, have some tough times and have people treat you unfairly”

No you don’t. You really, really don’t.

No-one needs to earn the right to do what they want to do.

Of course, I get why Michelle says we do. It’s one of those generational beliefs which says put in your time, pay your dues, prove yourself and then maybe (just maybe!) you get to do what you actually care about. But it’s like “a job for life” or “never swim within an hour of eating”. Just because lots of people believed it for a while doesn’t mean it’s true.

Moreover, who gets to decide? Who decides when you’ve carried enough bags or been treated unfairly enough to FINALLY get your permission slip?

Your boss? Your spouse? Some random dimfluencer on LinkedIn?

If Michelle Obama had her way, we’d all be standing in line waiting patiently for our lives to begin.

In fact, I’m surprised she hasn’t brought out a program to help you do just that:

Trust Michelle And Wait Your Turn! (Learn How To Ignore Your Instincts And Carry As Many Bags As You Can Until You’re Finally Allowed To Do What You Wanted To Do 20 Years Ago)

If this is how you want to live your life then godspeed and good luck.

But if you’d rather back your own judgment, stop waiting for permission and get on with the things that matter to you, you might like to check out my 1:1 coaching programs:

Trust Me, I Work Here (for anyone who wants to bring more judgment, clarity and ease to their day job)

The Music Inside You (for anyone who wants to stop living someone else’s version of success)

I must warn you though:

These are the most expensive programs I offer. So if you have even the tiniest sliver of doubt about whether one of these programs is right for you, I suggest you give them a swerve.

It’s also why the only way to take me up on one of these offers is to jump on a free 25 minute Discovery Call with me.

After all, I don’t expect anyone to plop down a couple of grand without at least a chat first.

There’s only a few Discovery Call slots left over the next couple of days and once they’re gone, they’re gone. I won't be opening any others or extending the calls into future weeks.

So if you do want to chat about what it would be like to work together, best hop to it.

That’s all for today.

To fulfilment,

Tom