If I had to sum up the “hidden plumbing” behind a happy life, a strong case could be made for one word in particular:

Relationships.

Right now and up until 6th Feb, I’m promoting Dr Giles P Croft’s Video Masterclass on this very topic.

Giles has a radically different take on relationships compared to the usual fluff and quick fixes which dominate podcasts, bestseller lists and the relationship advice column in Cosmopolitan. It’s a more thoughtful, more nuanced and (dare I say) more realistic take on relationships. And even if you’ve been around the Subtraction Method or the Inside Out Understanding for a while, Giles's Masterclass is bound to prompt some fresh perspectives and insights.

To get a sense of what Dr Giles is all about, here’s part one of a three-part interview with Giles. 

It's an interview that's tripping over itself with unusual and interesting ideas about a topic that seeps into pretty much every part of life, whether we like it or not.

Take it away, Dr Giles:

***

Tom: Could you tell us a bit about who you are?

Giles: Yes, hello, I’m Giles, a psychology graduate and doctor who left the NHS more than 20 years ago to explore various alternative life-paths, in what I now see was an accidental quest to find the source of fulfilment and happiness (ultimately realising, in a bit of a forehead-slapping moment, that it was there all along).

These days I write a lighthearted, very human “Daily Reminder” email for a growing community of like-minded people, have a monthly wellbeing column in Focus Magazine, and deliver restorative coaching sessions for individuals and groups.

I live in the beautiful Bannau Brycheiniog with my wife and 11 year old daughter and when I’m not working, I’m usually riding my bike, somewhere in the hills.

Tom: You worked as a surgeon in the NHS for 13 years. How did that experience shape the way you see relationships today?

Giles: Well, it seems I was always communicating with someone in that environment, be that other staff or patients, and I suppose they were my formative years for learning communication skills, both in terms of receiving information and conveying it.

One idea that really stuck with me was the notion of meeting people where they are, and letting communication flow from a place of shared understanding. I did a couple of jobs as a junior where the surgery was super-complicated (I barely understood it, to be fair), and yet every single person I saw in clinic had their own beliefs, their own worries and their own view on what it was they were there for, and it was my job to walk through informed consent with them.

In retrospect, I quite enjoyed the challenge of communicating the same information to a very disparate bunch of people – something I’ve kept up with the magazine writing and Daily Reminders, today.

Tom: Was there a moment when this stuff clicked for you? When you realised how relationships really work?

Giles: Oh what, relationships are supposed to have clicked, are they?! I must have missed that memo (check with my wife)! 😆 Well, as far as “clicks” go, there’s a real biggie to see, and I’ve already mentioned it once: that happiness and fulfilment live within us. Which sounds really obvious on the one hand, but a bit esoteric on the other – because what are you supposed to do with that information?!

And really that’s what I help the Daily Reminders community with, and my clients: to properly go into the depth of that statement, and see what it means, how it plays out in everyday life, and what gets in the way of it. To point people in the direction of something they’ve maybe not seen before and to have it “click” for them.

What I’ve seen is that when we get this fresh perspective on the way things are, everything changes for us – not just relationships. Situations in general just make a great deal more sense and we find ourselves worrying less, and getting on with living our lives, a bit more present to it all. And that’s going to rub off on our relationships.

***

Okay. That’s part 1 of the interview done and dusted, kippers and custard. 

Part 2 is up next.

While you’re waiting for that, you might like to check out Giles’s Relationship Masterclass.

This isn't a masterclass about fixing, managing or improving relationships. Instead, it’s all about seeing what a relationship actually is and what changes in relationships when you do.

If this tickles your fancy, click this link to read more about the Masterclass and why Giles is offering it for FREE (it usually costs £149) if you buy it before 8pm UK time on 6th Feb.

To fulfilment,

Tom